(20F) became close friends with A(20F) and B (21M) in our first semester of college (beginning sept of 2020), as we had the same online classes and resided in tthe same dorm, so we often sit in to online classes togehter amd studied together.
During second semester i dropped out (lersonal reasons), and moved back go my hometown, but maintained very good relationship with both of them, we use a group chat.
Around January this year they started dating, and i was really happy for both of them as (in my opinion) they are great people both individually and for each other. However when i invited them to a party late march (they took the trip here i was so happy) A told me she’s thinking about breaking up. I told her my opinion, which is as much as i love them together, if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t work, ill support her/them whatever happens.
Now this happened today, when A wrote me separately a heads up that things might become awkward as she broke up with B. I didnt really know what to say so i just told her that we can talk about it now or later or not at all as she wishes. Hearing this i also wrote B (we didnt communicate as much outside of the groupchat) basically the same thing, that im here if he wants to talk, but its also okay if he doesnt.
Is there anything else i can do? I dont want either of them to feel like im picking sides, and i want to be suppirtive, but i also dont want to be invasive about their personal relationship.
TL;DR! :My college best friends broke up, theyre both 3 hours of me so theres no chance of in person communication, and i want to kniw the best way to support them without invadingg their privacy.
2 comments
There’s zero chance of things not being awkward for awhile; this is just what happens when two people in a friend group date and break up. The most you can do is elegantly avoid talking about their relationship and breakup. If one of them tries to get you to listen (even if they’re not being malicious), stop them and gently say that their private life is their business only and it shouldn’t involve you. As long as you’re careful not to play messenger or confidante to either of them, eventually things will be less awkward, if they can be friends again. But there’s always the possibility that the friend group might split up.
> Is there anything else i can do? I dont want either of them to feel like im picking sides, and i want to be suppirtive, but i also dont want to be invasive about their personal relationship.
There are some time when staying neutral just doesn’t work. If A wants to rant about B and you tell her you are staying out of it then she won’t feel like she can come to you for support, same with B.
Neutrality only works when neither party feels wronged.