Hi everyone , me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been dating since I was 14 and he was 15. I love him so much , he’s done a lot for me and he has helped me so much since the day we started talking. We both have different personalities, im an outgoing person , and can make friends with anyone and he’s a reserve person. We been having some differences lately , I decided to pursue a career and became an accountant and he decided to not go to school and work . Which is fine .. till he decided he didn’t want to work anymore and it’s been a year that he’s been living off what I make . Since then I have been paying all the bills , we live together and it’s quite a lot , he doesn’t seem to want to work , when I mention he should get a job … he gets frustrated and doesn’t want to talk about it . I grew up in a home where a women shouldn’t be paying no man’s bills , but my mentality is I don’t mind a guy paying my bills but I also don’t mind doing 50/50 , I’m an independent women , I like to do my own things . Another thing, I like to go dance. He doesn’t seem to do the effort to want to go out with me , I always try my best to do things he’s into , even if I don’t like it , I still try. He complains that we’re different and I should just go out with my friends instead … but it upsets me he doesn’t want to try dancing with me nor going out places with me . He makes me feel loved and he shows he cares about me but Ive been feeling pressured about this relationship . He lacks ambition and he doesn’t seem to put effort into the things I like to do …I’m unsure whether it’s worth to keep trying or to just let go ..
Hi there edit : people have been commenting maybe he’s depressed , I’ve actually talked to him about this multiple times and he says he feels great . The thing is when his buddy call him to go out to clubs or bars , he’s already out the door, he doesn’t hesitate when it comes to his friends …, he plays video games with them all day .. and everyday . But I will try my best to talk to him again and ask him .
2 comments
I think it might be good for him to see a psychologist. With the information you have given me, he might be depressed or something. I think start there, and see what happens.
I do think though, that he should put the same effort in financially as you do.
Edit spelling
He sounds depressed. If he’s willing to work on himself and grow, it might be worth working on the relationship. But as it is, no, I don’t think it will work long term.