What are your thoughts about the idea of dating a former Incel?

10 comments

1. Depends entirely what that means. Is this man thinking women should be forced to have sex with men they don’t want, thinks women only like rich men, and blames women for their issues? Or is it a man who had trouble dating until he was a bit older than he anticipated?

   Those are very different.

2. A bit like dating any other former misogynist or racist or homophobe. They better be able to articulate why they held those views and why and how they changed those views.

3. I personally wouldn’t continue dating after finding out. But that’s because whenever you read about incels they all have this hatred for the world and how they missed out on stuff, i don’t believe they can ever be happy with what they’ve got once they find someone to date

4. Why would I subject myself to that?

5. absolutely not hah
   life’s too short to have to make concessions like that

6. Never tbh, I don’t need any leftover paranoia or resentment in my life. I’m sure they’re capable of change but why would I be with someone who at one point hated anyone like me because of my gender?

7. It gives me the ick

8. I’d like to know how exactly he thinks he’s changed before I even consider being associated with him. Yes, this is a test.

9. If they had felt and still feel entitled to women, if they have misogynistic and right-wing views (especially anti-choice ones), if they are conspiracy theorists and anti-science, and if they are highly insecure, jealous, and controlling I want nothing to do with them and their toxicity.

10. I believe in personal growth and people’s ability to change. So, I wouldn’t rule it out. I assume we’re taking about someone who has completely repudiated the incel belief system, and it didn’t just happen last week. It would probably make me a bit wary, though.