Nobody’s told me this yet, but I’ve been analyzing my behavior lately and I’m honestly really concerned about how I’m coming across. I’m female and have dealt with creeps almost my whole life, so I never thought I’d find myself on the other end of that!
People that have been described as creepy and / or overbearing: how did you change your habits that caused people to tell you this?
Editing to add more detail: I work a later shift and usually return home at 12:30-1am, with me falling asleep around 5-6am. It gets pretty lonely not having anyone to spend time with after work. I do have some friends that are usually awake around that time, and I just cling to them and message them incessantly. Getting left on read upsets me, but I know they don’t owe me their time or anything like that, so I try not to show it.
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I’m active in tracking eye and facial movements for discomfort. I will say I am worse at this when there are more than a couple people and I can only look at one person while they are speaking. But I only do what I can, it does not always work out, had a few talks with supervisors/HR of people being put off but they never go into detail and never amounts to anything.
I do watch what I say and have been more reserved in my speaking topics as of late. This does not always work but if I proceed slow enough I can pivot topics if I don’t see it going anywhere positive. I have been told about odd behaviors that put people off but its mostly facial expressions and my stories lacking relatable through lines.
> I just cling to them and message them incessantly. Getting left on read upsets me, but I know they don’t owe me their time or anything like that, so I try not to show it.
I think when you’re lonely, it can be hard to focus on other things. Especially if you’ve felt like the odd one out, or have had trouble making friends for some time.
A couple things can help with that: reading in your spare time after work is a great distraction once it becomes habit. Same thing with tv or movies– if you set a ‘goal’ for yourself, like, becoming the biggest weeb possible or watching all the classic films you can (I know this sounds a bit ridiculous, but trust me) then it makes it easier to focus on that, rather than falling into thinking and worrying about your social life. The main point is that you need a *goal* of some kind to shift your focus to.
Over time, you’ll become less insecure, which ironically makes you more attractive to other people and also makes it easier to socialize in a more healthy way. You just have to give yourself some time to change your own mindset & behaviour– and be kind to yourself; don’t keep thinking you’re creepy, you’re overbearing. You can change & improve yourself,step by step <3