I won’t provide history to this as it’s long and boring, but I chose to stop speaking to him many years ago because I realised that he’s a bad influence, brings out the worst in me, and is a horrible friend. He’s a complete narcissist, and as trustworthy as a serpent.
He rang me at 2am, like I said, drunk-probably drug upped too, and said how he’s going ‘away’ in Spring and wants to catch up with everyone before he goes. This is a little fishy as Spring is six months away, so why does he want to meet me next week?
This pissed me off as it woke me up and I couldn’t sleep after that. I did however, foolishly, text him the following money saying I’d like to meet… i don’t know why the fuck I said this, and I regret it. I think I was in a good mood and didn’t give it too much thought, but after I texted him I immediately regretted it. I do this a lot. I’m too nice, I have too much empathy but it just bites me in the arse everytime. I remembered all the times he made me feel stupid, the way he excluded me, and didn’t stick up for me. Bringing back all these bad emotions, baggage, and everything I want to forget and leave in the past. It feels like a step backwards talking to him.
I’m also very suspicious of the whole thing. He doesn’t know me anymore. He only wants to drink, and I hate drinking. We’re different people and I want to distance myself forever. It doesn’t help he hangs around with the same cunts from school.
It is my fault, I know. I really should have thought about it before making a decision. Now I just wish I ignored him. It was very rude of him to call at that time, and it would have made my point if I just ignored him. Now I’ll have to make up some obvious bullshit and look like an indecisive coward. Great. Any advice? Or any advice to avoid this shit in the future? I wish I wasn’t so stupid. I think i felt anxious about responding and I let it get the better of me. I really should have just ignored him.
tl;dr i am stupid, did not think this through. how to get out of meeting this blackhole?
6 comments
Just tell him you’re too busy and you actually can’t make it.
>Now I’ll have to make up some obvious bullshit and look like an indecisive coward.
That’s what you’re taking away from this?
Because really, all you have to say is “I’ve thought about it and it is not in my best interests to see you.” and then that’s it. Block him and be done.
ClunkyDesperate2, I would text him back…with something like this
Hey man, it was good to hear from you and I was happy to know you are ok. I’ve been doing some reflecting and its not a good idea for us to get together. Alot has happened since we last spoke, and while I wish you, all the best, I am not ready for us to reconnect.
I hope whatever is next in your life makes you happy.
Stay well
Remember you don’t owe him an explanation.
Take care of you, and make sure you demand that others respect your boundaries! Good luck!!
You could just say you were very surprised and on second thought it’s better to keep the status quo or that you’re just unavailable for a meet up. You’ve grown apart and no longer share similar interests. You don’t have to lie completely, just be polite about the wording. Wish him well and then block him.
Why do you care how you look to him. Just say you weren’t thinking clearly and don’t have any interest in meeting up and block his number.
Is he OK? He’s “going away”?
I was text him and see how he is doing, then use some of the scripts others have given.