Not sure if right sub for this.
23M.
I’m concerned that introversion for me is a real issue to my social goals. One of my main goals was putting myself out there in social groups and I have done it recently. It’s too early to judge but I generally enjoy the socializing part but I always feel like I’m putting on a show and not very fulfilling. Like I don’t really want to get their contact info and stay in touch or spend more time with them. (hard to make friends part). This hasn’t really changed over the years I put myself out there.
After the event all I wanted was to spend time alone outside. It was fascinating to me to just walk in a park and reflect on my thoughts and surroundings. There was so much in my mind I wanted to mull over. Every time I saw someone I’d grimace since I’d have to be ‘on guard’ when they passed me. What I mean is sometimes I’m off guard and I piss people off. For example one time I kind of just stared at someone since I was just looking ahead and they turned around and threw something at me since they thought I was staring them down lol. Or I’ll like run into people since I didn’t see them. Eventually I saw some kids playing and I felt I could join them, so that was the social part rising up again, but I wouldn’t want to go out with a group of friends and spend the night with them. These were things I wanted to do when I was younger and never got to with a friend group, but it seemed less attractive the older I got.
I used to think me spending a lot of time alone was due to social anxiety but I’m not so sure anymore.
If it is introversion, then my goals of making connections may not be sustainable. I’m still trying but I went out for a few hours during the day and didn’t want to see anyone at night nor see the same people again. I also didn’t want to meet people the next day. The days I plan to do so, I always feel like I’m ‘trying’. If I don’t try, it would take a week or two before I start to feel I need to put myself out there again. I feel like I can’t really reach my social goals of creating connections if I don’t want to spend much time with them. If I can’t do that, then I won’t be able to solve the supposed problem of creating healthy nurturing connections in my life and go from there. Btw I’ve done much therapy and this was the core thing I worked on.
1 comment
> Every time I saw someone I’d grimace **since I’d have to be ‘on guard’** when they passed me. What I mean is **sometimes I’m off guard** and I piss people off. For example one time I kind of just stared at someone since I was just looking ahead and they turned around and threw something at me since they thought I was staring them down lol. Or I’ll like run into people since I didn’t see them.
I know what you mean, but part of being a man is always being on guard. We have no choice, really. I mean, you don’t have to be, but then you’re more likely to be victimized. You have to always have a strong degree of situational awareness. You can drop your guard a bit when you’re in the safety of your own home. This is actually normal and expected of us, but the softer and more sheltered we’ve got in the west, the less this was taught.
>If it is introversion, then my goals of making connections may not be sustainable. I’m still trying but I went out for a few hours during the day and didn’t want to see anyone at night nor see the same people again.
Do you work or go to school? Because I would think that you’d have to have some type of social interactions and connections in either of those two environments.