Married 40 years and husband is still as insensitive as day 1.
Went to the eye doc today. She said I had a serious problem with my optic nerve and she made an appt for me with a specialist for “multiple tests” tomorrow. Glaucoma suspected with danger of losing some or all vision.
Came home and told my husband and he asked, “is it one eye or two?”Then he asked if I got his detailed bill ( he went earlier in the day) and went back to work. Just came in and asked if we’re having pork chops for dinner.
It’s always this way.
Thanks for letting me vent. Wish I’d left years ago but I didn’t.
It’s wrong to pretty much ignore/brush off the info I shared with him, right?
7 comments
He is awful. I send my best wishes for your tests and outcome.
Leave now or in few years you will regret also that you didn’t leave now.
If you don’t leave now, you’ll still be regretting it 5, 10, 15 years from now.
Is he on the spectrum?
I ask this respectfully, but why have you stayed with him so long? Are you doing it for your kids? You deserve happiness too, and your children need to be understanding of that.
I’m so sorry. All you wanted was some empathy, reassuring, some acknowledgement- and this response was terrible. You deserve better.
Have you tried talking to him about this ? Emotional intelligence is not unlike other forms of intelligence … and he may just have a low emotional IQ … but not necessarily being insensitive intentionally / to hurt you.
He may need explicit feedback and instructions on how to be more sensitive towards you. If you can convey to him the magnitude of this issue for you and he still values your marriage – then he should make an effort to improve / be more sensitive.
Your children are lucky to have you for all the silent sacrifices you make.