So my situation is complicated. Couple of weeks ago 20M (we will call K) admitted he had feelings for me, he is also my housemate at university. A week prior to this he broke up with his girlfriend of a year. K convinced me to go out on a date with him and then a week after this date I admitted to him I had feelings for him. He did say that he needed some time as he just broke up with his girlfriend. I said that is understandable.
We are still friends and do things with our other housemates and we will talk in the kitchen but we don’t message each other privately.
I’m not sure how much waiting around I should do, and have considered downloading some dating apps. It has been about a month and I haven’t really heard anything more from him regarding this. I was thinking about texting him something like “Hey! Hope you are well. I was just wondering how you are feeling now as we left things quite open a few weeks back?” But I don’t want to seem pushy or that I’m expecting too much. Additionally if I do start dating other people do I need to tell him? I don’t want it to get awkward and weird in the house.
Thank you for your help!
TL;DR me and my housemate K has admitted feelings for each other but nothing has happened due to him just breaking up with his girlfriend. Should I still wait around? Message him? Or cut my losses and start dating others? If I do start dating others do I need to tell him?
2 comments
Nooo don’t message him that. You have expressed your interest, you went on a date, he knows you like him, he says he needs time (an aside but for me it’s a bit of a red flag to go on a date with someone and then tell them it’s too soon after your breakup – was he looking for a rebound then?) but the absolute last thing you should do now is follow up again. A month isn’t that long in the grand scheme and you following up won’t provide any new information he doesn’t already have – you told him you were interested. Definitely download the dating apps or similar and don’t wait around. If he’s genuine, he’ll come back when he’s ready.
The lack of news is your answer. If he wants you, he knows where to find you. I think it’s wise not to date housemates (don’t shit where you eat) to avoid issues if things go wrong. You don’t owe him any explanation for what you do. Download dating apps if you want to!
I also recommend reconnecting with your wider social circle and interests and remember all the great stuff you have going on that’s not related to this Confusing Guy™. You sound like a cool person and university is a great time to make connections. Don’t let life pass you by waiting for this dude!