Am I being insecure? Am I over reacting? This is probably the 5th time I’ve seen my husband following pages on Instagram that contain basically naked women either on cars or just in general. I’ve seen it each time and brought it up that it bothers me, each time he basically brushes it off like it’s nothing or like tonight tells me “I can’t just go through all 700 people I follow and unfollow them”. We’ve been together 11 years, married 1.5 years and we have a 6 month old.. I personally feel completely disrespected each time I’ve seen it and have expressed that each time. From the bottom of my heart I know this man would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage I think it’s just really hurtful and I genuinely don’t think he understands the level of disrespect it makes me feel. Advice on how to approach it so he understands.
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To be fair that type of content is targeted so even if he isn’t following those accounts, they pop up on the feed since they know his age and other factors…
Also if you think that’s what he wants, you can also “get spicy” with him… he’s with you for the exclusive wifeussy… pardon the meme but yeah.
Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to porn. I truly don’t think it’s anything to get too worked up about if everything else is going well. Unless he is messaging these girls or paying for things from them, I would just let it go. But, stand firm in your boundary. If pictures of mostly naked women are bothering you, make sure you tell him that is the line and you will not tolerate it if he crosses it. I don’t want to diminish your feelings, but I personally would not worry about it unless you suspect more is going on.
> each time he basically brushes it off like it’s nothing or like tonight tells me “i can’t just go through all 700 people I follow and unfollow them”
So he brushes your feelings aside, and then gives this bullshit excuse? Why can’t he? He can easily go one by one and unfollow them, he just does t want to.
It’s a simple request that may take maximum an hour and he doesn’t want to do it.
You’re just going to have to tell him it’s super disrespectful to you that you’ve asked him to stop following these pages and he flat out refuses.
Even if you are being insecure about it, it’s a simple thing. And he’s adding to your insecurity.
Humans are going to find other humans attractive no matter how you slice it. You have every right to feel & express your feelings with your husband. Clearly you know where your husband stands on this issue which he’s entitled to feel. It doesn’t make him shitty or a bad person. He probably likes the cars & thinks the girls are cute. More thank likely popped up on his feed, he followed & the algorithm keeps popping up new ones & he follows.
I’m guessing he looks at it as nothing more than cute girls & cool cars. Meanwhile your over there stressing he’s got a few of them on speed dial scheming up a plan to upgrade & run off from his family while driving his dream car. Stop beating yourself up.. clearly the man loves you if you’ve been together 11 years & you say there’s no way he’d jeopardize the marriage & you two had a baby together. Having a baby is work, marriage is work & nothing is perfect other than the human you 2 created. Stop over thinking, tell him how you feel & know it’s just some random stupid cute girl sitting on a car with absolutely no attachment to your man’s life. Social media & mindless endless scrolling is the world we live in now. If you share how you feel & you both can’t realize it’s nothing more than a picture on a screen that’s not worth stressing over maybe it’s time to relook at the marriage bc if you’re getting this jealous over a random person/picture on Instagram I imagine things are going to get complicated.
You know, back in the day, a lot of men had Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler subscriptions. It was pretty common. This really isn’t much different. I was a kid, so I’m not sure how I would have felt about my husband having a nudey magazine subscription.
So mine does follow some beautiful, hot women as well. Doesn’t really bother me. The only thing I don’t love is that the whole family, kids, brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins know that he follows them because he has one account. I’d prefer if he kept a second account because although I don’t think it’s a big deal, it’s a little weird knowing that the whole family sees it.
It would be kind of like having the playboys right on the coffee table. But because I’m genuinely not that concerned, I haven’t even bothered suggesting it to him. I’ll maybe get around to it eventually. And not to be used as a secret account, just a separate one.
And I say this as someone who keeps a separate IG for the BDSM community stuff I like to follow. Don’t think he wants his family seeing that! Lol!
Just have a chat with him, let him know how you feel. Leave it up to him and see what happens because it sounds like he’s a good guy. I’d give him the chance to react on his own. And having had a baby only 6 months ago, I wouldn’t say it was disrespectful, rather it’s a tad insensitive. Good luck with it!
Start by sitting down with your husband and etch those woman’s pictures together. Talk about what he sees and ask questions why he is attracted to them and let him become embarrassed having to talk it through with you. Challenge him on why he looks at them. It’s like confronting a teenage son and having to watch porn with your mom explaining yourself. Watching that kind of content will not be the same for him anymore.
And yes it is disrespectful and no you are
not over reacting. (Btw, say you are telling friends and family about his behaviour. If he thinks his behaviour is okay he doesn’t have anything to be ashamed about. )