questions about dominant and submissive

Hello,
Let me start this out by saying it took my husband 5 years to be able to open up about this and I’ve tried to come at this with a few different angles, but I can’t seem to find a good one.

My husband and I are both in our mid 30’s both men
Neither of us are feminine in nature.
We have had basically a mediocre sex life after the first year which was red hot initially..
Husband had and still has self image issues “he’s put on some weight” but we have been able to atleast start to be physical again.
* side note: I have no problem with the way he looks I think he’s sexy no matter what he looks like and have have been supportive and reassuring*
Over the past few years I’ve been shut down for sex over and over 4 years and nothing. It was frustrating, but I understood why.

He likes skinny good looking twinks physically but dressed business casual
This is me in a nutshell
Timothy chalamet in Dune*

I prior to him was versatile bottom but 100% a power bottom
With him I’m a top but naturally I’m a gentle top romantic make love not fuck kind of top.

Over the past year he confessed to me about what he likes sex wise
In porn he basically likes to watch twinks get dominated by big strong masculine men, but what he gets his pleasure from is the bottom not the top.
He basically wants to be that twink over powered taken and dominated.
But only during the act of sex with 4play he likes the confident manipulative powerful kind of top.

I’m shorter then him and no where nere as strong as him physically so I can’t overpower him.
I also know he wouldn’t be into any form of humiliation or s&m he also doesn’t like to start off as submissive. He wants me to “earn” it.

I am the king of 4play normally bj,hj,rim, finger you name it I’m into it and will do it.
He doesn’t like any of it.
Basically only 2 things are off the table with me 3somes and sex with others. I’ve tried it and it’s ended horrible every time.

I’ve come at being the Dom at tons of angles and it doesn’t seem to hit the mark.
He states that he stopped watching porn because he thinks it numbed him…I don’t 100% belive he’s stopped but I can say we are more physical since he said that.

He seems to really like rp he’s someone else and im someone else, but only with masturbating together.

I need advice I really want to make him excited and happy, but I’m not sure how.