My original post is here:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/yhqot9/i\_31m\_overheard\_my\_fiance\_29f\_talking\_to\_her/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/yhqot9/i_31m_overheard_my_fiance_29f_talking_to_her/)

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Sorry it took me a couple weeks to post an update, but it’s been really hectic. I confronted her a couple of days after my initial post. I wanted to see if she would be honest, if there was even a chance of working this out, so I initially didn’t allow her to know I personally overheard her – I told her I heard a rumor that she had been talking about me that way. She pressed me for a name, but after I refused to give her one, she flat out told me repeatedly that I had been lied to – that she would never talk about me that way. I then told her I personally overheard her, then her entire demeanor changed. I think she hadn’t considered that i’d been awake when she had her friends over or that this was such a common topic of conversation that she didn’t know exactly which specific conversation i had heard rumors of.

I told her I was calling off the wedding then she then started crying and I genuinely felt bad, but at the same time, I can’t really trust her anymore. She left and I have no idea where she went, but I got a few calls from her friends later that night and the next morning. They were the same friends I overheard earlier so I just never answered. Her dad randomly showed up that afternoon and seemed surprised at what I said. She hadn’t given him a detailed reason for why I was calling off the wedding, just that she had lost my trust. He didn’t have much to say after I told him but said I should try to work things out.

She came back the next day and I still have no idea where she went nor do I really care. I was blunt and told her she would need to find a new place somewhat soon. Since then, I’ve been spending as little time as possible home and she seems to be gradually removing some of her smaller personal items. It’s a mess and she keeps trying to salvage things and when that fails the crying starts. I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later.

43 comments

  2. Congratulations on the bullet dodged – I cannot imagine how miserable life with her would have been if you wouldn’t have found out about this.

  3. Good for you for calling off the wedding and not let her get away with talking about you like that. I couldn’t imagine talking about my fiancé disrespectfully to friends like that, even when drunk. What a nightmare of a woman, I hope this was a lesson for her.

  4. This was a signal from above man. Talk about a nuke dodged. Go live your best life without this monster of a woman.

  5. Her true colors came out and glad you got to know where you stood in her eyes, also proud of you for calling it off…

    It is always a blessing to know where you stand with people

  9. Don’t wait for her to come get her stuff. Move all her stuff to a storage or her parents. That way she has no reason to come back and see you. She’ll “forget” something on purpose just to have an excuse to come to your place. If you want to cut ties, cut them. Otherwise you’re going to have to deal with her coming back to your place even when you’ve moved on.

  14. Do not believe her regret

    She is not sad that she screwed things up with you

    She is sad that she was ever so close to having a completely easy life where she wouldn’t have to work or do anything and you would provide her with luxuries and security…and now it’s all gone because she was showing off for her friends and running her mouth

  15. Bro, you need to give her a hard deadline to get ALL her stuff out.

    She is just stalling at this point so you will give her another chance.

  16. >He didn’t have much to say after I told him but said I should try to work things out.

    Lmao. What useless drivel.

  17. I’m happy for you but honestly pack her stuff, at least the larger stuff. She is going to drag this out so she can try as many times and ways as possible to get you back. Just end this sooner rather than later.

  18. You got so lucky. I personally know people that married someone who also happened to have money, and no way would they talk like that even joking. You would have to be really shallow!

    Consider this a gift in knowing how to find the right one. I’m sure you’re putting together the signs you overlooked early on. Like a change in their taste in fashion and luxury brands. Or losing interest in their own career as they expect to be taken care of soon.

    Good luck, man.

  19. She’s not crying because she’s upset about losing you. She’s crying because she’s upset about losing what you provide. Stay strong bro

  20. Good job my man. Stay strong and don’t let the tears get to you, there are crocodile tears. She lost her lifestyle that she wanted and not you.

  21. GOOD FOR YOU. Seriously, I’ve seen men in situations like this go back to the woman and she ends up screwing him over emotionally and financially. It’s gonna hurt for a bit, but you’ll bounce back man. Just your time.

  24. I read your original post. You made the right call.

    Never for the life of me, I would imagine saying something like that about a loved one. I’ll also never stay if I hear it from a loved one.

    Things happened for a reason. You lucked out.

  26. Just imagine this had happened right after the wedding when you’re legally tied to her. Thank whatever you believe in that it happened now. Get back out there after a few months of morning and try to be vague about your financial situation until you’re already really vibing with someone.

    Best of luck friend.

  27. Op, I’m truly sorry. Mainly for you being treated soo poorly. I have a couple of really well to do friends and they never flaunted their wealth, I know but I’d never discuss it. I know they kept it on the DL due to this very reason.

    I wish you luck in the future and I hope you know that not all women are like this and there are plenty of good folks out there not like your ex.

  29. What a relief that will be later on when you meet someone who can’t stand to be apart from you.

    I’m sure the only thing she’s upset about is losing that money stream she had. Seriously.

    Good luck

  30. You need to document your interactions with her, she is going to lie and say you did something immoral, or illegal, after she realizes she can’t steal from you any longer.

  31. Set an exact date for her to move out, if you have to make a formal eviction process do so, if she wanted to leave she would have done so already, it seems she’s slowing down the process to see if she can convince you to get back together. Do it, at the end, neither you or her can start to move on if you see each other, even a little, distance makes the heart grow colder, then you can heal. I’m sorry, but good luck moving forward.

  32. OP, I didn’t get to read all the things she said because the original post was closed as I was in the middle of reading it. I am happy that you are not staying in a relationship with someone who would say hurtful things about you.

    Tell your ex-fiance to go on the Bachelor. Her behavior sounds really fitting for that show, tears and all!

  33. Good for you. I am immensely proud of you, you deserve so much better. Nobody’s partner should talk about them like that especially when you clearly were willing to provide so much. I wish you the best.

  34. I read the original post and I’m absolutely disgusted and heartbroken for you. At least you found out before the wedding. I’m really sorry that you had to experience that, I hope you know that that is a form of abuse and it’s not okay. I also hope that you know you deserve better. I know that you are hurt right now but I promise you that it will get better and you will find a way better person.

    My ex was abusive and I am now with the love of my life. It took me two and a half years to heal from the trauma that my ex left me with but I’m happy now. I promise you that it does get better. If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out. Hugs. 🫂

  35. Dodged a 0.50 caliber bullet to the head. She’s sad because she lost her “future income”. Neve settle with a gold digger.

  37. Dude, she and her friends sound like awful individuals. It might not seem like it, but overhearing that conversation is one the best things that could have possibly happened to you.

  39. It’s kind of odd to me, why didn’t you just be flat out honest and tell her that you heard her say those things while you were in your room? I’m not defending her, I would have felt the same way.

  40. Drunk words are sober thoughts. Not an excuse.

    As a loving partner, the most I will joke about is calling him my favourite pillow(/armchair/furniture/heater). Normally in front of him. He has called himself a replacement cat when I get vigorous with head rubs.

    If you can’t say it in front of them, maybe that’s because it’s not a good thing to be thinking.

  41. Sounds like you made the right decision. Like I think I said in my original reply, there are plenty of fish in the sea and there is one who wants you for you.

    Congrats.

    One more piece of advice… once things settle down and you are completely free of the anchor, throw yourself a big party or take a trip. A gift from you to you!

  42. so proud of you for being so strong! would’ve been so horrible if you had spent your entire life with somebody using you for your success… her loss and ONLY because you sound like a beautiful genuine soul, the money isn’t her loss because it was never hers to begin with.. don’t let this mess or the feelings ruin your job!

  43. She’s awful. You should either get some bros to help you get all of her stuff out or a moving company. She’s taking her sweet time getting her stuff to buy time. Notice how the crocodile tears keep coming into play. Then it’ll be the “I forgot something”, “I love you”, “don’t throw this away” blah blah blah. Sooner she’s gone and EVERYTHING OF HERS is gone. Sooner you can recover

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