I’ve spoken to so many men, and I feel either emotionally unavailable with them, bored, or share different beliefs.
How do i become better?
And how do people navigate the beginning of a talking stage/ relationship? As far as dealing with days where the convos are lacking substance or debates arise based on different beliefs on a topic?
How long does one carry on the talking stage with a person, before moving on to another potential person?
sorry my thoughts & Qs are so scattered hopefully someone can help tho!
5 comments
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Best of luck man. This question is too vague to be able to give a good answer. I don’t really understand what you’re struggling with.
You need to become better at filtering people. You’re gonna have to decide what that looks like by yourself, but here’s what I used to do just as an example: i came up with a list of questions that cover whatever i consider to be really important and brought those up really early on in the talking stage. If i don’t like the answers – we’re done. If they said something i didn’t like – we’re done. If there is a debate about values and beliefs – we’re done. As for dates, if the conversation isn’t going anywhere, i would stay the polite 30 minutes, then come up with an excuse to leave and unmatch them on my way home.
Depends I guess. I’m assuming you are a woman, so are you speaking to them via text/social media or scheduling dates or phone calls/audio messages?
Im a guy and start by leaving out the bebate questions outright. Political affiliation -most definetely not, covid vaccination-not a chance, religion- don’t go there, cannabis legalization -not today.
Me I’m a hobby photographer that’s an okay topic. I ski, hike and have dozens of pictures of waterfalls, lanscapes and bears on my phone. I ride a classic motorcycle that I restored mixed reactions with women but I look handy. I read a fair amount and remember authors names. I can dissect a movie and talk about the how they made the shot not just have you seen the new marvel movie. Did you see Netflix adaptation of house on haunting hill, the one shot sequence in the finally. Have you read any other Shirley Jackson novels. Etc.
Focus on depth not surface questions and their responses lead to other questions. Conversations are pretty easy if you lead them the right way mostly anyone can hold a conversation with anyone else its just finding the topic you both mesh with.