tldr: I’m wondering if GF is codependent because of some behaviors she has
Me (23M) and my GF (21F) have been together for 2 years and I love our relationship. I just have a feeling that some behaviors may be a little codependent and need help realizing and going about them.
I’ll provide a few examples: we’re hanging out and she has to use the bathroom, she’ll tell me to come stand in there while she’s pooping, peeing, or whatever, same with showers.
Another example, let’s say we have plans to hangout, we’re going to be on the phone while we’re on the way to meet each other and whenever we’re leaving from what we were doing.
If she has to go to a doctors appointment, she’ll want me to come. If she has to put gas in her car or put air in her tires, she’ll want me to come. Her parents asked her to do something for them, she’ll ask me to come.
It kind of seems like she needs me to be there for almost everything and it’s kind of wearing on me. I love her to death and love spending time with her, but some of these things can sometimes feel a little excessive. Is there anything I can say to try to come to a compromise?
2 comments
Codependency is when one needs the partner overly much and the other needs to be needed. You dont like this so im going to venture a “no”. However, the first part seems to be present so I’d go with she’s clingy, perhaps has an anxious attachment style.
this will be solved by you forming boundaries for yourself. Remember, boundaries arent “You do this!” its deciding what *you* will do under a certain set of circumstances, and also communicating what your boundaries are. Here’s a good resource to get you started: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/3davsm/tip_setting_boundaries/
If you don’t want to accompany her to the bathroom or on errands just say no.