My daughter is currently being taught sex education at school, but the syllabus is quite ‘academic’. Usual topics – biology, diseases, basic contraception, babies, etc.
Is there a good way to supplement her education at home? Have other parents considered this, or have done this?

13 comments

  1. My parents did so by buying me books on sex ed aimed at teens. They weren’t all particularly good though

  3. Pornhub! /s

    Gawd no, don’t do that lol.

    Seriously though, probably the best thing is to let her know if she has questions she can come to either parent (whichever she’s more comfortable with, and no, it’s not always mom) and talk about it.

    By the time sex-ed comes around a lot of her thinking and attitude around sex will around have formed anyway, just from how the subject is treated in your household.

    So, if you’re open about sex and don’t make it in to something bad and evil, congrats, a lot of the work is already done.

  4. One of the big gaps in sex education is that consent and boundaries also apply to boys and men. At the same time we, as a culture, don’t do a good job of helping young women understand how they can violate consent.

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    Best practice is to ask for consent before any intimate contact without pressuring their partner regardless of the genders of the people involved.

  6. I think a lot of the good questions youth have are about how you interact with another person. How do you know what your boundaries are? How do you enforce them without hurting someone else’s feelings? What if you ask someone out and get rejected? How will you know when it’s the right time to have sex? What does having a healthy sexual relationship look like? What if I get naked with another person and they make fun of some part of my body/smell/actions?

    Honestly, a lot of school based stuff is fear based. Don’t have sex because you’ll get STIs, have an unwanted pregnancy, or people will look down on you. The real supplementation is how to teach healthy relationships with other people and yourself.

  7. I would definitely emphasize the social and societal aspects of sex. Things like virginity, consent, gender roles (guys can have a body count and be studs but a girl with a body count is slut-shamed, etc.), RELATIONSHIPS.

    It’s a pretty tall order to go beyond the academics, but I think that, beyond the above-mentioned, actions and consequences on a basic sexual level are a great starting point. Those can lead into conversations about safe sex, consent, peer pressure, etc. but also understanding the difference between just wanting to have sex and knowing WHY you want to have sex.

  9. Teach about enthusiastic consent for both sides. That people like different things and none of it is wrong, but she never has to do something she doesn’t want just because others like it. Its ok to make someone mad by saying and enforcing a “no”. Sexual compatibility in frequency AND style IS a very important part of relationships. If she has her boundaries ignored it is NOT HER FAULT. Sometimes we can’t stop it from happening in the moment but we should never see that person again no matter what.

  10. You might want to check out https://www.scarleteen.com/

    And I’ve heard really good things about both Wait, What?: A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up by Heather Corinna and Let’s Talk About It: The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Being a Human by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan

  11. There are some great resource books out there. I gave a copy to my oldest ones when they were 12 and I will give it to my young ones at the same time. They have since mentioned checking out the book on several occasions and we have even had some chats about some of the information in it.

  12. I think Planned parenthood might have good comprehensive resources about contraception, pregnancy and sex eduction stuff on their website.
    Cheers to you for trying your best to educate her. I don’t know if your in the USA but it’s severely lacking here,

  13. My daughter’s mother is planning to have a coming of age talk. I would think that’s a good time to start the discussion. Regardless I think it’s important to open up communication so she can count on you at anytime when she feels like she needs supplemented education here.

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