People at work make it obvious that I’m not getting the vibe of what they’re saying. My coworker was like, “I’m about to tell you a joke” before telling me a joke. And another coworker handed me a chair and then explained “I’m handing you a chair” and then made a joke about how I’d break my leg because I didn’t realize he was handing me a chair. And then he asked me a question and then said “I’m asking you a question”. My coworker said “she’s working!” (Referring to a machine we have to use) and then she clarified, “the machine is working!” Like, I get it. I’m not as socially aware as them and good at picking up on their vibes. It’s really upsetting because I actually try very hard to just be a good listener and feel the vibes but I’m not good at it. I spent years trying to practice this skill but haven’t improved. Maybe I’m just doomed to be awkward.
2 comments
They are going overboard but obviously there were some tedious interactions in the past. Let them blow off steam and try to get explanations one on one with someone you trust buuut don’t wear them out.
This is a long game you’re in but probably not doomed.
Damn, call me weak but if that happened to me I would personally stop working there. We’re all in a journey to better ourselves socially. In my opinion, that does *not* mean you should force yourself to be comfortable around bullies because that’s not what normal interactions look like, people should at least be decent to one another, and its clear that in all of these occasions your co-workers are not having fun *with* you, but *using* you for fun. In all of these examples you’re the joke, they’re not making any efforts to have fun alongside you.
In regards to your question “How do I get better at picking up on vibes?” I can certainly tell you you won’t get better at that job, because your co-workers are making it impossible for you to get better. In fact, the moment something like “I’m about to tell you a joke” came up, you should’ve known that if that behavior continued, then this is not the environment for you to grow as a person, I would even say they’re making an active effort to keep you as you are. This is not tough love, this is straight up being assholes.