My (23F) boyfriend (23M) was really freaked out about me being on my period today, even though I gave him a heads up and we have had sex on the end of my period/when I’ve been spotting before. My periods aren’t super heavy due to hormonal BC and one time, I even started my period during sex and he just kinda kept going until he finished (I don’t always finish but usually do, and if I need him to go down on me in the beginning he will).
But today, we were fooling around and he fingered me and then after the first stroke there was some blood and he just freaked out, even though it’s happened before. I think he could tell I was offended and I asked him what was wrong and he just asked if we could stop, apologized and couldn’t continue. I gave him a towel and he cleaned up and I just said it’s fine. He was still hard and I didn’t know what to do so I just asked if he wanted a blowjob and he obviously said yes so I finished him off but now he just left and I feel horrible about myself and something I have no control over.
I can’t tell exactly why I feel horrible and I don’t know what to do. I won’t stop having periods for a while and now I’m very sexually frustrated. I also can’t help but compare it to my ex who was always down for sex, no matter my period or anything.
For those who do like or dislike, can you maybe explain why? He’s not squeamish, so I know it’s not that. :/ Or if you’ve had this experience where you’re usually fine with it and then suddenly are not, can you explain why?
EDIT: I also got sort of passive aggressive and said we’ll never have sex on my period again, and then he got frustrated and said, “it’s not that, we’ve done it on your period before, it’s just a lot.” But didn’t look like more than we’ve had sex through before.
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> For those who do like or dislike or don’t mind period sex, can you maybe explain why? He’s not squeamish, so I know it’s not that. :/
I am not afraid, personally, but this also comes from my nature and how I am as a person in general, I’m not easily startled or anything.
Most people that I know this way are simply freaked out by the concept of what goes on in there, I guess, and have horrid images about it. Honestly even with my experience I still know about nothing regarding periods, so it makes sense, fear of the unknown specially when bloody is fair.
To each their own.
You’ll need to talk to him to find out what the deal was. I personally have never minded it. I don’t seek out blood play, but I do view it like it’s just another body fluid.
I’m a female and I think it’s gross. I don’t want to be touched when I’m on my period because of the pain but also it’s a huge mess. My husband doesn’t like the mess either and he’s not squeamish at all. He just doesn’t want to be covered in blood, there’s nothing else too it. I know some people have their kinks that involve blood but that’s not something I’d ever enjoy for a lot of reasons. Think of it in from his position. Would you rub his blood all over your genitals?
This is a problem with men who don’t understand how women work. It’s really immature.
I could never get behind period sex. I was always afraid it was making her uncomfortable, not like I would know, but I could never get into it.
But I also never reacted the way your BF did. Maybe he was surprised because it was unexpected? Regardless, I think you should be honest with him about how it made you feel. Only he can explain why he freaked out about it.
Honestly I think your passive aggressiveness and the way that you invalidated his feelings wasn’t the best reaction. He obviously felt uncomfortable and thats ok. No need to get angry at him though and break up with him? My boyfriend freaked out and lost his election when we were having period sex and he didn’t realize us girls pass blood clots. I was a bit taken back because it wasn’t the first time we had period sex but after talking to him he told me he never knew about or seen clots before and it kinda freaked him out a bit. Boys don’t experience period blood everyday so just cut him some slack.
As a male it’s absolutely disgusting to do things when it’s that time. Also please don’t pressure him to bc its like a male pressuring a woman into sex. At least in my eyes. Respect his comfort level.
Blood can be scary and young men don’t have the same level of exposure and experience with periods that young women do. They often need some time to catch up and learn on an emotional reactive level that it isn’t dangerous or a sign of injury.
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Once a man has had a long-term relationship with a woman, this stuff tends to become unimportant. Experienced couples keep a dark towel near the bed so they can have sex whenever they want.
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Honestly, if you like this guy and he’s worth anything he will figure it out if you give him some time.
There is freaked as in surprised/startled and then freaked as in grossed out. Neither are end of the world, just something to make clear between you two.
As for feeling bad, I think it’s him accepting bj after. If I was him, I’d say “thank you, but at least let’s discuss what happened first”. When we are in clear, if the mood in the room is “why waste an erection, I know you are for reciprocity, just today stars don’t align for me”, yeah, sure, today can be just about him.
I think you feel bad because you left feelings unclear and there are some interpretations of what happened that makes him selfish and you rejected. There are others that are perfectly fine. Solution is obviously, sit down and talk.
Personally blood makes me queasy! So I typically avoid it!
Hello OP, I don’t know if you’ve read my replies to other replies on here. I hope you do.
Let me start my official response to you saying that… There is absolutely nothing wrong with period sex/blood.
Also, here’s another preface. Immaturity. Many of the things I’m about to say below are heavily influenced by immaturity ( NOT A NEGATIVE THING BTW ) of the other party.
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>boyfriend (23M) was really freaked out about me being on my period today, even though I gave him a heads up…
He was being extremely immature. We don’t know his past experiences. Maybe he had a girl that fucked his mind when they had period sex. Maybe his culture or religion did not allow him to explore the female side of things.
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>I even started my period during sex and he just kinda kept going until he finished…
I’m not trying to be crude or insensitive, but maybe he was in the moment and wanted to nut and his brain was clouded by this. So he continued and had his NUT. NOT saying he’s selfish but…
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>and if I need him to go down on me in the beginning he will…
Good lad. Points to him.
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>after the first stroke there was some blood and he just freaked out, even though it’s happened before.
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Wow, baby, there’s a lot of blood, are you ok? Nah baby, I’m fine, keep fucking me please!
That’s how I would envision this. If my woman tells me all good.. CAPTAIN, FULL SPEED AHEAD! I’m sorry, I’m trying to bring a bit of comedy in.
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But to freak out??? That’s strange.
I will stop here. If you’d like me to continue, let me know. I hate long posts.