So a little over a year ago I began dating my current boyfriend[17M], and soon after, I brought it up to my aunt. She told me that she’d never approve because he’s “black and overweight”, and got mad at me when I tried to explain that nowadays people don’t find an issue with interracial relationships and that weight shouldn’t be a deciding factor either. She yelled at me and wouldn’t listen.
It’s been a year and she’s still been saying the same exact thing, even when my biological father and grandmother approve completely and have accepted him as part of the family. What I find odd is that my grandmother and my aunt grew up together, they were step sisters. However, despite that, my grandmother approves completely while my aunt doesn’t at all.
Recently I got in trouble for cuddling with him and she pulled me out of the room and started yelling at me. Afterward, she left the house to smoke a cigarette. My dad and grandmother both think she overreacted.
She’s told me time and time again that she’ll only ever approve of him as a friend, despite me explaining that I’m a year away from being a legal adult and that dating him is my decision. She’s also angry because she doesn’t understand how I can be transgender, FTM, and date a man. I’ve identified this way since I was 10, and I’ve been diagnosed with gender dysphoria since I was 13. Yet, now, she’s saying that if I want to be with a man I can’t be trans? She’d been supportive of me being trans up until this.
It even got to the point where she asked my pediatrician what she thinks about me being trans and dating a man, and my pediatrician went off on me and said I’m far too young to know I’m trans and that me wanting to be with a man proves that.
I just don’t even know what to do, we’re extremely committed to this relationship and all I want is her approval? Any advice is very welcome.
TLDR: I’ve been dating a guy for a year and my guardian won’t accept him because he’s black & “overweight” and because I’m trans and “you can’t identify as a man and date another man”
3 comments
You can’t force her to approve… Move out once you can, get some distance and hope she comes around, but she may not ever approve.
Instead of trying to convince her, focus on your relationship and those who support you, and your future
>She’s also angry because she doesn’t understand how I can be transgender, FTM, and date a man.
I think she understands it, she just doesn’t like it. Homophobia is the word.
I’m sorry you’re going through this
The good news is that she doesn’t need to accept it. You’re almost at adulthood and will be able to move out and build your own life as you see fit.
Why do you need to have her approval?