I (f40)have been very tired of late. I don’t know what’s going on but I can’t wait to get home from work take a shower then lie in bed for an hour or two before I start with dinner. My husband(m37) always comes home an hour later than me.
I’m a true crime fan and I have discovered a youtuber called mrballen. I think he is brilliant. So i have been doing marathons when I get home, I can watch a few videos and then Doze off. My husband noticed this and asked me who the dude was. I explained. Today when I was dozing off my husband came in to the bedroom so i woke up. He saw what was on tv and he said that he was tired of me watching this dude I laughed and told him that he was being ridiculous. He got irrationally upset. And slapped me hard twice and left the room. I haven’t left my bed since because I don’t think i have the energy to stand on my feet. I just don’t know what happened. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. This is the first time he hits me but it was so painful my ear is squeaking and my heart is breaking
Edit: we have been together for 8 years. He never hit me once. I don’t know what happened
35 comments
That’s straight up abuse. Physical abuse. No way around that.
LEAVE
You leave and get a divorce immediately. Abuse only escalates. I’m literally begging you to leave him.
More beatings will ensue
***Leave.***
Call someone you trust and tell them you are coming to their house to stay for an indefinite amount of time.
Take any credit cards or IDs with you.
Be prepared for him to contact you and try to make excuses. Ignore them.
There is no excuse for this. None. Nada. You deserve better. Divorce is not easy on anyone, but it is better than a life spent living in fear of the next minor transgression that will provoke such violence.
Leave. Don’t look back.
Leave. This is the first step down a spiralling slope. The domestic violence victims who often end up on true crime shows, likely had it start with ‘just’ a slap. ‘Just’ a shove. ‘Just’ choked me but then he stopped. He said it won’t happen again. He said he lost control. He cried. He begged. He’s a good guy really. He does it because he loves me. It’s my fault.
No man is worth being assaulted for.
what you do is leave. if you want to die eventually then stay.
please think about this red flag very very carefully.
Food for thought:
If he physically hurt you over a YouTube/TV show, what will happen when its something more serious.
LEAVE IMMEDIATELY FOR YOUR SAFTEY! THIS IS A EARLY WARNING THAT YOU WILL NOT GET AGAIN!
If he did it once he will do it again. NOTHING justifies that kind of redponse…NOTHING!
What? No matter how many bad things in his head or how much he is depressed… he shouldn’t hit you. I’m sorry that happaned to you.
LEAVE!!!! This sounds exactly like my ex. They won’t change. My now husband and I watch mr ballen together. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Please leave. This man is beyond unhinged.
This was the first time. It won’t be the last.
Leave him, its hard to do I know, but must be done
If he will do it once he will do it again. There is NEVER a good reason to put hands on your spouse. PLEASE leave and find someone to talk to.
Unfortunately if he’s willing to do it once, it’s going to happen again. There is never a justified reason to put your hands on a spouse, unless you are protecting yourself. You need to make a plan, and get out of there. Stay with your parents if need be, a close friend, but make sure you are safe and get a divorce. I know that might seem rash to say divorce so quickly but if you allow this to escalate, one day you may not be so lucky. Good luck.
Report the physical assault to the police. You need to leave your husband. Don’t accept the abuse. You also should see a doctor about your lack of energy.
Get a divorce and a pregnancy test. The times I was as tired as you discribed I was pregnant without knowing (doesn’t have to be the case for you but a test is done quickly)
This is physical abuse. If he did it once, it will not be the last time. Right now you might think „This is a mistake, he never did it, he will never do it again.“ And then you will find yourself making excuses for anything rude that he does. And his bar to do something is low, if he slapped you over a fucking youtube-video that he didn‘t like.
I have been in an physical abusive relationship for about four years, and the best you can do is leave. Stay safe.
Edit: Oh and don‘t think this is „too small“ to be a reason to break up. It is not. And it doesn‘t matter if he or anyone else says that.
L E A V E
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I’d also like to add, it does ***not*** matter why he hit you. There is literally never a reason to hit your spouse, child, etc. There is no excuse he could give you to make this okay.
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**You have done nothing wrong.**
**You have never done anything to deserve being hit.**
**It is not your fault in any way, shape or form.**
**Get Out. Now.**
Absolutely leave.
Possibly contact the police.
Reach out to Mr ballen, it would be interesting to hear his response.
Like everyone else said, leave him. Putting hands on you for *any* reason is abuse.
Side note though, if this fatigue is a new thing, you should go see your doctor to make sure it’s not a serious problem.
Here is what I would do.
Call a friend or family member to take you to the hospital.
Take pictures of any busing on your face.
Have the hospital check you out for any injuries caused by him hitting you along with blood work to figure out why you are so tired (that is secondary).
I would strongly suggest filing a report of him hitting you, there are not enough reasons/apologies in the world to justify someone hitting you. Sadly, if he did it once he might do it again.
If you can I might get your ear checked for potential damage, ie burst eardrum.
He’ll apologise, cry, say he didn’t mean it. He lies. Get out of there.
On top of everyone telling you that he is abusive and you need to get out, which I agree with, if you are suddenly getting tired out of nowhere then you need to see a doctor, you could have anemia or something else.
Leave him immediately. This is only going to escalate. It doesn’t matter that this is the first time. It won’t be the last.
Holy hell that is bad. You need to tell someone and get help.
> Edit: we have been together for 8 years. He never hit me once. I don’t know what happened
Irrelevant. It doesn’t matter at all that he hasn’t hit you before. It doesn’t matter that you have been together 8 years.
He’s hit you now. He is actively abusing you now. You are in an abusive relationship and the physical violence will only escalate.
You need to leave.
You are tired all the time because you are depressed, and your abusive husband is likely the cause of it. If you leave, you will feel better
Pack a bag and walk right out the door. Go to the ER and have them document any injuries and they will help you file a report with the cops. Mention the fatigue to the doctors, too, since you’re there.
Mr ballen is excellent, your husband is not.
Bestie if you watch MrBallen you know what this can lead to.
GET OUT
Two things:
1: MrBallen is great, also check out twisted minds
2: Leave that abusive pos
He never hit me until the day he hit me. And I wish I never stayed that first time. If he hits you once he will do it again. Get yourself out and away from him.