desperately need advice on different “common techniques” to make a woman cum. I don’t wanna be that guy who doesn’t reciprocate.

12 comments

1. Making a woman cum is more about being responsive and unselfish than it is any given technique.

   Some woman only get off from clitoral stimulation, others only from penetration, other need both, etc.

   It all comes down to communicating with your partner and being cognizant of their wants and needs.

2. Fingers and tongue at the same time is always nice. I like it when they ask whether I’ve finished/if I want some more when they’ve come. A guy who makes me come again and again always gets top scores (metaphorically speaking, i don’t score them).

3. Use your fingers and tongue. Of course you’ve taken the first good step here. You’re going to fumble and fail once in a while, but that’s ok. She’s likely to appreciate the effort even if you don’t get her all the way there the first few times.

4. Try going down on her like you just cancelled everything else you had to do that day to attend to her pussy. Tease her, kiss her whole body and pussy before you ever attend to her clit, then make that your primary focus. Use your hands to caress her, hold her ass, or try a finger or two on her g-spot if she seems receptive. Keep kissing and licking her clit as you go, trying the find the perfect amount of pressure (sometimes soft is appreciated, other times lots of pressure is best).

   As her to masturbate for/with you. Study how she makes herself cum, and try to do the same for her. Don’t be afraid to introduce toys. A vibrator on the clit while you are inside of her can be very effective.

   If you doing missionary, try grinding your pelvis against her clit, again looking for the perfect pressure. Lifting her legs up over your shoulders while doing this can give excellent penetration plus pressure on her clit and pubis mons.

   If she is riding you in cowgirl, try propping a pillow under your ass. This will give her nice penetration plus a more solid base to bring on.

   Try reading some sex books. “She Comes First” is pretty great. I’ve found that focusing on making my partner cum as much as possible is one of the most rewarding feelings, and makes for a very happy, chill partner, who is ready for more.

5. Get her off first before penetration. Hands all over her body, lots of kissing, then stroke her clit and make sure she knows she can take as much time as she needs. Use lube even for this part if she likes that. On average it takes 20 minutes of clit stimulation to get off. It should become easier to find and more engorged as you are intimate. After this, penetrate while spooning and stroking her clit (can put pillow between her legs if that makes it better for you guys). Also check out the podcast pillow talks.

6. There is a book called Girl Sex 101, which is meant for women loving women BUT it is the best manual for pleasing women and will teach you so much.

7. In order to be not be the guy who doesn’t reciprocate, all you have to do is reciprocate. Don’t expect every woman to be the same or need the same thing, don’t be afraid to ask if she came and what she needs, and be open to getting advice and feedback from her. Men who genuinely want to get their partner off usually find a way. Those who don’t try to reciprocate genuinely don’t care.

8. Pay attention to her, hear her needs and desires… listen for what makes her gasp or breath heavy. Talk about it and see what’s good. It may be kinda awkward in the beginning but you will result in the start of an unmatched sexual relationship

9. Put your middle finger and ring finger in her vagina and thrust in and out and rub her clit with your thumb. This if definitely my favorite, but every woman likes different things, so just ask her.

10. Ben Buckingham on YouTube. I watched him and (as a woman)I must say – this man knows what woman needs.

11. The most common technique is communication.

12. Research on this
    The pancake and vortex techniques for cunnilingus
    And for fingering…i try my best to explain it but hold you fingers like spiderman enter the middle fingers then turn them up so your fingernails face up then just rub the upper wall of the vagina while you thrust in and out slowly (depends on the girl) Feel carefully for a hard part on the top (gspot…i think) sometimes you won’t feel it while your palm is resting on her clit but just do this I’ve done it alot and my girl likes it.