I met this one girl online about 4 months ago and things have been going very well between us. We talk just about every day and we both seem quite fond of each other. During that time, we’ve shared stories of ourselves and have gotten to know each other pretty well. It’s really refreshing making a new friend, especially one who I can get along with and stays by my side, even if it is just online. I have enough proof to know she’s a real person and not a catfish, so I’ll just get that out of the way. I really like her and she seems to like me too, we sometimes flirt back and forth and it seems like we’re both comfortable with each other. She even brought up meeting each other sometime next year.
However, I think before that can happen, we have to at least talk over voice or video at least a few times, so we can both be comfortable in spending a more extended length of time together, know what to expect from one another, and also to have that final confirmation that we’re both who we say we are.. I’m just really nervous to do it. I think sooner is better, so she knows what to expect early on, but I’m afraid that she won’t like how I sound or talk over voice and I’ll blow everything. I worry about being too different over voice from what she imagined, and it’s a lot of pressure. I also really struggle with voice chats because my mind runs blank, there’s this pressure to constantly fill the dead silence and it gets really difficult to manage. Sometimes I’ve voice called with people I really liked over text, but then over voice it was just “hi”… “hello”…and then crickets. It’s mostly nerves from dealing with the pressure to talk, and coming up with interesting topics, that sort of thing
Any advice?
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F.O.R.D.
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
This sub taught me this acronym and it’s wonderful to make small talk until the conversation hits some mutual points you both feel comfortable naturally talking about.
It’s all about generating questions on topics everyone can talk about.
F is for Family: Tell me about your family! What does your sibling do? Why does your Mom love Halloween? Is your Dad always working on projects?
O is for occupation: Do you like your job? What’s the most difficult aspect of it? Where do you think your career will take you?
R is for recreation: What do you do for fun? What’s a hobby you spend a lot of time on? Why did George Lucas sell his empire to Disney? What is pickelball and why do people love it?
D is for dreams: What do you think the next 5 years of your life will look like? What means that you’ve lived a successful life? What do you want to be really good at in the future?
Ask these questions, take a genuine interest in the answers and keep slowly shifting topic till you find a common interest.
“Oh hell, you like Star Wars? Tell me your thoughts about the sequels.”
Once y’all get talking you’ll start feeling better and better.