What was the most important lesson you’ve learned from a heartbreak?

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1. If she tells you not to worry about someone, worry.

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3. That time heals everything and that life goes on, also not to live in the past. It’s done, it can’t be changed.

4. That I can move on quick

5. Our capacity to be alone measures our capacity to love.

6. I couldn’t maintain a relationship because I was piece of shit.

7. Money can’t buy class

8. The longer you hold on the harder it gets to let go.

9. Think twice, trice and another time. It’s not about your intention of your words, it’s about how your partner will receive it.

10. Don’t give your heart so easy

11. That life goes on afterwards.

    I mean, you have to process it. You need to give yourself time and permission to mourn. It’s going to hurt for a while, and you have to let it hurt.

    But life *will* go on. It *will* stop hurting. You *will* be happy again.

12. I’m the most valuable person in my life.

13. Mine wasn’t heartbreak from a woman, when my grandparents died their will was designed to cause as much pain as possible but singling out individual family members they deemed favourites for gifts after they passed.

    I learned then I was never earning familial approval regardless of how much I gave and supported. I was at my grandfather’s funeral when I decided I needed to place myself higher in my priority list or risk my whole life passing me by.

    Edit due to typo

14. You don’t need your “other half” to complete you. You are a whole ass person and you don’t need someone to make up for your perceived flaws, only you can do that. Focus on improving yourself and not looking for that person that will make you happy, make yourself happy and maybe you can find someone that wants to share their happiness with you as well.

15. Revenge and/or seeing your ex suffer after doing you wrong doesn’t feel good. I’ve been in this situation and I’ve seen it on here time and time again. Being in a long term relationship starting from high school/early college and you get cheated on/breakup years later because she’s curious about being with other people and wondering if there’s better. Not gonna lie I fantasized for months on her having a bad experience and coming back to me and I get to reject her. Well it happened and it didn’t feel good. It was just sad. Sad that everything went to shit because of that curiosity. I had to move on from the initial resentment because it affected me in other ways so once I got my fantasy I was already over it.

16. Don‘t trust anyone more than yourself.

17. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they’ll give you the same love back

18. Don’t fill in the gaps!

    There are her actions, what she tells you, the time you spend with her, and the gaps in between. You CANNOT fill in these gaps by yourself or by asking others. She is the only one who can fill these gaps for you.

    This is a huge problem, because we end up projecting what we want to think into those gaps.

    “She might be thinking, she is probably feeling, she is busy, she is tired, she could be…”

    This ends up with a total disconnect between your expectations and reality.

    At the beginning of a relationship, there is trust building. It is better to think not at all about the gaps than to try to figure them out. Let her actions, what she tells you, and the time you spend with her paint the picture for you, don’t do any of the painting yourself.

19. 99% of things can be perfect but if you can’t get over that last one it wont work. And i mean that number, you can literally have 100 things total, 99 things you are in complete agreement about and that last 1 can sink your boat

20. Forget any thoughts about ever getting back together.

21. The most important question that needs to be answered in a relationship is, “are my needs being met?”

    Get real clear about what those needs are, and DO NOT try to change your needs to suit her needs. You are guaranteed to fail, and neither of you will be happy.

    Worth noting that needs are not wants. You can and should sacrifice wants.

22. You can’t fix/rescue/save someone else no matter how hard you try, especially if that person isn’t ready or willing to work on themselves. Being a people-pleaser and/or a rescuer will not end well.

23. Everything is temporary.

24. Nobody can hurt you unless you let them. Hard lesson about personal responsibility for my own emotional health that has saved me pain in the long run.

25. Don’t ever go back. When someone chooses to leave, they have been thinking about it for a long time.

    It can never be repaired.

26. To always pay attention to what they do, not what they say.

    Deeds, not words.