Bf doesnt want to get me a surprise

My boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas yesterday. I told him I would have to think and while the topic was still on our minds I found a dress and talked about it, because I really liked it. He said he would buy me that dress if I wanted it. Which I appreciate. Its something I want and he said he would pay it for me. Which is something I really appreciate. But I still felt a bit hesitant about it. Especially since it wouldn’t arrive before Christmas.

I mentioned to him that I would actually love for him to get me a surprise. I love surprises. Always did. That’s why my mom would always get me something I really wanted and something she knew I wasn’t expecting. And no matter what that something was, it always made me really happy. So I asked him if he could just go get something by himself.

He than brought up all these reasons he can’t. Said he didnt even really know what I like. Although he than mentioned something I like, but said he wouldn’t know how to get that. And that he doesn’t know how to order online. He said his country also doesn’t have anything I like. Which…is untrue. We went shopping together and there was allot of things I liked. Things I wanted and couldn’t buy and things I just liked in general. He said even if he would find something it would probably be more expensive and would be cheaper online. And if he’d later find out if was in fact cheaper online, he would be upset about it. I told him that I would love a plushie. And he said he wouldn’t be able to find one I like. Said I am picky and that he could only get me some “cheap shitty plushie”

I tried to explain that I would love anything he would get. But he said he would rather get me something I really want instead of something I only like and use because he gave it to me and not because I actually wanted it. And I do understand it, but he also didnt seem to understand at all why I would prefer a surprise over the dress I wanted. Said he could get me something here, when he comes to visit for Christmas, but than I would never get the dress I wanted (since it is a preorder item that ends soon).

I can’t help but feel a bit sad and disappointed now. Especially hearing that he doesn’t even know what I like. While I consider myself a person that is very open about what I like. My favorite colors are very clear, everything I own consists of those colors. I have allot of movies and franchises I love and collect figures and plushies off. I have a favorite animal and anything themed with said animal I love. I have a favorite shape. Multiple actually. And anything in said shape I love. Hell anything cute. I’ll love. And anything he would get me. Even a rock for all I care. He got me a 10cent rock once and I treasure it and take it everywhere I go.

I went to his best friend. Who Is someone I am Sort of close with and trust as well. And I told him about this and mainly wanted to know if this might be just a thing guys do. Since I hear this allot from friends and I know that I definitely think different about this and very carefully pay attention to things my partner likes and wants. His best friend said It kind of sounded bratty and spoiled-kid-like. And how I should just appreciate that he wants to spend his money on me, buying the dress. And I do appreciate it. I just felt like I should also be able to tell him that I appreciate a surprise.

I feel really bad now for even bringing this up to him. I really don’t want to make it seem like I am unappreciative. But I also feel sad still…because I care about surprises allot and about what my friends and family and partner like. So knowing he doesn’t know what to get me nor wants to try and get me something just made me sad. But now I feel like that’s wrong and I am a bad person..

Update: I apologized to him and told him I didnt want want to seem unappreciative. He than told me that he also had talked to his best friend, who had told him that he shouldn’t get me anything, because I complained. He was a bit upset-ish but seemed like he accepted my apology. I still feel sad…like everyone is kinda making me feel like I am a bad person now for requesting that. And I really didnt mean that in a..idk bad way. Its just something I care about allot…I spent hours crying yesterday because I felt really bad about this for some reason. But now I just feel stupid..