So, the office Christmas party is coming up. We all WFH but on this occasion are going out for food and drinks. Celebrations start during work hours.
Part of me wants to go, I adore my colleagues, we get along so well and we always have such a great time. However, I have a huge crush on a coworker, and it is getting more and more intense with time. I only get to interact with him in person at work events- which we have several of during the year -and for some reason we tend to end up talking to each other for the most part of these events, even when I have tried to keep my distance.
All I know about his relationship status is that he has a girlfriend with whom he lives, so I assume it must be serious. But even if it wasn’t serious, I don’t want to be into a guy who is taken and I don’t want to ever come between a couple. All I want is to get over this crush, so I want to avoid seeing him as much as possible and hope that out of sight will eventually lead to out of mind too. Since the Christmas party is not a work event that I absolutely have to attend because it’s part of my job, I was hoping I could skip it. But, I need a good reason (or in this case, excuse) to give them. Any ideas?
TL;DR – In-person office Christmas party is coming up, starting during work hours (we WFH). I have an intense crush on colleague who has a girlfriend. Want to get over him, so want to avoid him as much as possible. How can I skip office Christmas party so I don’t have to be around him?
4 comments
Go to the Christmas party and don’t engage in a one-on-one with him.
Tell a white lie and say that you’re feeling sick. They won’t require a doctors note for the celebration if they require notes regularly.
I’m going to say something that will probably sound harsh, but I think you need to hear it.
You need to recognise that you are in control and don’t have to skip work functions to ‘avoid your crush’ because you ‘can’t help yourself’. I know that’s easier said than done, but you absolutely *can* help yourself. You just don’t want to because, in the situation, you prioritize the enjoyment of engaging with your crush more than the negative feeling you know you are going to be left with after the fact.
You’re not a magnet that is drawn to him by force of nature, you’re an autonomous person who makes an active choice to interact with your unobtainable crush even though you know it would be smarter not to.
>Since the Christmas party is not a work event that I absolutely have to attend because it’s part of my job
Or, you know, if you want to let this crush continue to dictate your other work engagements, you can just skip the Christmas party. Since it isn’t mandatory, you don’t need an excuse or a way to ‘get out of it’. You can just tell your colleagues that you’re not coming.
I mean, I think you should go and not talk to him. You are responsible for your choices and behaviours.
If you really want to miss it then schedule a dentist or doctor appointment for that time.