Met this girl (we both study engineering) from grad school about a month and a half ago, and we clicked instantly via text and went on a PERFECT first date. We bond really well over pretty much everything (future goals, hobbies, life paths, love playing the piano and guitar, and love hiking and nature). I soon fell for her and we already were planning for our second date during our first one which was a great sign. I saw her a couple of times after our first date and the vibes were still fine but lately, for some reason, she became a bit cold, and I have no idea why. I was thinking it might have to do with the fact that I asked her to celebrate my bday with me 1 on 1 and that probably gave her pressure, but I eventually invited a few close friends and she came and had a great time with us.
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Last Monday I proposed to take her to play axe throwing on the weekend, she said she would love to but wasn’t sure about her plans on the weekend; she said she might not be in town and said will let me know last Thursday. I asked her on Thursday and she said she had to do research all weekend and won’t be free till the 23rd of November which is Thanksgiving Break.
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This morning I asked her if she would like to get a quick dinner this week and she responded immediately saying she will be busy this week and next week. I didn’t ask about Thanksgiving Break but I am counting on her words that she will be free by then.
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I know she is actually pretty busy lately – she’s trying to publish a research paper and is actually pretty swamped with work. But I somehow feel like she’s trying to distance herself away from me. What’s odd is that I saw her last week, we had a great time and the vibe was excellent; I brought her some food that I made and brought her a souvenir from travel and she loved them. I am really not sure what should I do now… I don’t really want to move on but I am kind of head over heels.
1 comment
Time to move on. If she’s actually interested, she would make the effort to reach out. Did she ever once reach out without you reaching out first? That’s clue number one you are not on her mind. Being busy is not an excuse for bad communication. A simple “hey sorry I’ve been flaking, I’ll get back to you when things settle down.” Or any indication that she’s still interested. If you’re really unsure, then just flat out ask “are you still interested?”. Life is too short not to be direct.
Also, the “we” statements about your experience on the date may not be her experience. Has she actually told you she had a great time on the date?