I don’t always raise my voice but sometimes I slip. At the moment it feels justified but I know it isn’t. What do you do to keep your cool? I find that I lose it completely when someone dismisses how much I’ve been there for them when they don’t get what they want at all times. It’s a shitty trait I have, I want to become more patient ?
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Take a deep breath and think of the consequences, most times I find it just won’t make an improvement to lash out and adjust my response to what will happen next.
Always take 5 seconds to respond
You need guided meditation lol.
Breathing exercises will help you regulate your emotions.
Can I do something about this? If I can’t I don’t worry. If I can then I do something.
I usually excuse myself for a minute and go hit something if I can; if I can’t, just calm down and think rationally of the consequences your actions could have
Simple…..I don’t
– Ask myself is it truly matters in the grand scheme of things being upset over it.
– If it does, I have no problem telling the other person that I’m pissed off. I’m good enough to go take a moment to let the steam die down, and I’ll talk to them when I’m good.
– When we’re eventually going to talk about, I have no problem telling the other party that I’m pissed off, but I’m not going to yell or go crazy or anything.
This way, it provides a buffer not to act on impulse and say something you might regret. It also gives you proper preparation in order to tackle the incoming argument.
In other words: “Chill out, dickwad.”
Be stoic…
Practice and learning that people are either misinformed or in high stress situations are more likely to lash out and often regret how they react. I’ve seen too many hostage negotiating scenes and inadvertently learned to de-escalate.
>I find that I lose it completely when someone dismisses how much I’ve been there for them
Its a trigger for me too. I just say “Wow” and leave to compose my thoughts.
> when they don’t get what they want at all times
Are you dealing with children? Because that sounds very childish.
>It’s a shitty trait I have, I want to become more patient.
It’s a valid reason to lash out and nobody would blame you. Personally, I like to communicate how I feel about what they said and leave. Ignoring people is an underated alternative to losing your shit, especially as a man where losing your shit terrifies women and children alike.
Im just really fucking lazy, if i know something will piss me off i just avoid it.
Stop being there for other people who don’t appreciate your presence. You’re not obliged to give anyone anything for free
Easy. Has yelling at someone EVER solved anything? No. So why bother?
I dont have an angry bone in my body, maybe what i do might help.
first i understand anger will only muddy what every point you are trying to make. second is i try to understand their perspective in this confrontation.
Practice keeping your cool. Basically, train yourself to not raise your voice when you feel like raising your voice.
You know it doesn’t solve anything and it’s a bad habit, so work on getting rid of it. Think about the quality of your words, not the volume of your words.