Honestly I don’t know what answer I want more. To do something or to do nothing. To know he wants me or to know he never wanted me at all. Fuck it.
My ex (26m) broke up with me (26f) in March. It was out of the blue. Together for 2.5 years, lived together for 1, and we had a few bumps but it wasn’t bad. Honestly, it was pretty good. Then he just… changed his mind.
He said “I love you and maybe we can start over again but I’m breaking up with you.” He didn’t want to try anymore even though we hadn’t tried anything (we talked things through usually, but never had huge fights, always repaired, all that).
We hadn’t been in contact much. I let him watch the dogs I got in our relationship. He bought a car, threw a fit he couldn’t put the dogs in his dating profile, then we stopped talking. He sold his car and got a scooter, and evidently was going on dates everyday and fucking whatever he could (I was told by mutual friends). He stopped hanging out with the mutual friends (his only friends for as long as I knew him). Everyone had bad things to say about him and discouraged me from reconciling.
Then, last month, I had some fucking shitty life event and reached out since it was about someone he knew. He met with me, and he seemed totally neutral. Then he went home and just flipped out. He was so angry, threatened the person, and just doing everything I didn’t want. I told him to drop it, I didn’t want to talk about it anymore and wish I had never reached out. I thought he’d never want to see me after that anyway.
Then, a two weeks later, he called me. I missed the call and he said it was a pocket dial. I texted him asking if he was ok, hes never pocket dialed me before. He said he was trying to call a customer service number and made a mistake. Then a week or so later he asked if he could watch the dogs over the holidays. I agreed as long as he took me to the airport and after agreeing we didnt talk.
Today I found out he’s blocked me on social media. I dont know when he could have done this. I felt confused. This was the first time since the break up I wanted to see him, and I couldnt. I had him unblocked three months ago, so it had to have been somewhat recent. I saw his profile on tinder right before I had reached out and he didn’t swipe on me. Everything points to him not wanting me and now all I want to do is call him.
I want to text him I miss him. I have too much hope and maybe I want it smoothered out before I get hurt. I feel too illogical to see things clearly.
4 comments
I’m just a random person, but I got out of a 6 year relationship a year ago with the woman I thought I’d marry. At some point I realized things just wouldn’t work out no matter what. It’s extremely hard moving on but it’s healthier to move on than trying to fix something that could potentially set you back a few years mentally and emotionally.
I tried fixing it for the last couple years and I feel like if I would have let it go around the 4 year mark, I’d be in a much better place now, but I let it go on another couple years and still paying the consequences.
Its a hard lesson to learn that a lot of people you’ll come across in life will only love you as far as they can use you. Their loyalty ends, when the benefits stop.
And those people are usually narcissists that can’t feel the emotions like you feel them. They aren’t even able to feel emphatic towards other people in how badly they treat others.
You miss the memories… But the person you thought you loved doesn’t exist. He showed his true colors and now you know. And I bet if you look back carefully, there were signs you have missed.
Thing is, gentle people like you… we think we can change people. We see something broken, and we want to fix it.
But what we don’t realize… Is that we then cut ourselves… with their broken pieces.
> Honestly I don’t know what answer I want more. To do something or to do nothing.
Yet, all you have written about him makes him sound like a complete lunatic. Nothing positive that would make anyone on Reddit to tell you to do something. You know reaching out is a bad idea. Whatever you need in your life right now that makes you want to reach out, he won’t give you. Move on. Everyone hates him.
Honey it sounds like your ex doesn’t like you and don’t want contact with you. You really sound naive please have some self respect and don’t contact him again. Like seriously you are just embarrassing yourself