Tl;dr My gf(25f) is A narcissist by nature, with no concept of how the world works outside of her control. And even though i love her with my whole being, we are nearly five years into our relationship and i there has been no drastic change in behavior.
And i (28f) come from a background of mental health issues and i feel like the weight I’ve carried by shouldering this relationship is going to drive me to a bad place in an already low point I’m in currently. Last week we got into a yelling match about how i don’t put in enough effort and love because my life requires me to be even busier than id like.
The argument broke me, months of pent up anger fumbled out on my behalf. I don’t recognize who i am anymore, the anger, the sadness, and the lack of empathy from her makes it feel all the worst. knowing that she continues to be the same individual with no regards to change. And i just don’t know what to do. Im lost.
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Narcissists essentially never change. It’s part of what makes them narcissists – admitting they need major change is simply not in their wheelhouse. At best, you’ll get minor word changes/slight adjustments to HOW they do things, but they’re still doing the same things.
You say “This relationship is no longer working for me. I’m breaking up with you.”
Why do you continue to stay with someone who makes you so deeply unhappy?