Why is my bf obsessed with other women?

46 comments

1. Why don’t you leave? Block him. The end.

2. You asked him to leave? Uh why are you treating yourself like a doormat? YOU leave him, block him, never talk to him again. He doesn’t love you if he doesn’t respect you at all. And he clearly doesn’t. He’s only staying with you to use you. Nothing more.

   Not all men are cheating assholes.

3. I mean, it’s normal to be attracted to people other than your partner. However, he’s being disrespectful. He doesn’t need to tell you that or show you girls he finds hot. Tbh, “love” doesn’t equal fidelity or devotion. You need to put yourself first and move on. Find someone who’s not so immature. Good luck.

4. Break up, tell him to live somewhere else and move on

5. Edit… I forgot to say … since he cheated and got back together I caught him live chatting with women and masturbating live… is that cheating?

6. This relationship is toxic and you need to end it asap and do whatever it takes. Actually call the cops on him. Actually take away his key and throw his stuff to the curb. File a restraining order if you have to. Just dumb his ass and get him out of your home.

   As for his behavior, there is no excuse for it. He may love you and only you, but he clearly doesn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship and/or has a sex addiction. Even is everything he says is true and he “appreciates other women’s bodies,” if it clearly hurts you he should be at least be trying to do better and make adjustments. The fact that he clearly doesn’t care about how it makes you feel shows the garbage human being he is. Not to mention he actually cheated on you which shows it’s not just “appreciating” other women’s bodies.

   I’m going to be completely honest here. As a man who has a mild sex addiction and finds women in general attractive myself, his behavior is still deplorable and there is no excuse for it. I don’t cheat on my wife. I don’t outwardly express when I find another woman attractive. I don’t watch porn and masturbate to it. When I tell her “I love you and I only want to be with you,” I truly mean it. Yes, it’s natural to find other people attractive. It’s naive to think you will never find someone else attractive even in the slightest other than your significant other. Maybe that is true for some, but I think I can safely say that’s not universally true. However, there is a difference between just noticing someone is attractive and outwardly expressing that attraction and acting on it, especially knowing it it is hurtful to your partner and makes them feel terrible.

   Get this guy out of your life.

7. most men aren’t like this

   why are you doing this to yourself?

8. Your self-worth and value have taken a severe beating. You feel as though if you break it off with him, no one else will want you. This is the furthest thing from the truth. Stop allowing him to treat you like a piece of dirt! Pack his stuff (garbage bags is fine), put it out and change the locks. Tell him you meant it when you told him to get the heck out. If he acts a fool, call the cops. No one should put up with this. If you do, then YOU are the cause…not him.

   Tough Love is needed here. Get Your Life Back!!!

9. Thank you a lot for your comment.. you’re right. Everyone that has commented is right . I just need to get the courage.. I feel I can’t be alone . I’m scared of being left alone I guess

10. Ps . Thank you guys , it’s my birthday today and currently sitting here crying over y’alls comments!! Appreciate it a lot

11. Hun, leave him for good. Everyone male or female is attracted to other people besides our partners that is besides the point here. He is disrespecting you all while telling you that he loves you. That is not love. I see you say he lives with you, if he will not leave then you will have to call the police. Is he on your lease? Maybe get the community security or peace officer. You are not trapped and if he is somehow going to flip on you or hurt you for continually telling him to move out, then all the more reason to protect yourself. You are 22 years old and even if you were 40, I’d advise you to not keep signing up for this toxic nonsense.

12. He’s a manipulator. He wants to control you while also maintaining his dumb fantasies. I can say this confidently as a man – most men are not like this. This guy is the kind of guy my friends would make fun of. You’re being used and ignore his manipulations. Kick him out with whatever force necessary (change locks while he’s at work, call police for a trespasser, etc). He “can’t live without you” but can clearly look at sexy women on the internet all day. Idk if he’s physically abusive and obviously that’s a different situation, but if he poses absolutely no threat to you, just call the police if he’s there, and get some friends/family/your landlord to come when he’s out and make sure he doesn’t get in. It sounds like he’s convinced you/you’ve convinced yourself that either you don’t deserve better or that he’s the best that’s out there. Neither of those things are true. You deserve to not have a manipulative and kinda emotionally abusive boyfriend and he’s definitely down there towards the bottom of the barrel of men.

13. If this is how he is in front of you… Then think how he is when he’s Not around you. He can either respect your feelings on this or not but You don’t have to deal with it. There’s always someone else who would appreciate you! Kick him to the curb.

14. Break up with the guy once a cheater always a cheater not only that he’s disrespecting you by saying those things about other women in front of you..

15. Girl he is toxic.dump him and move on.

16. Dump, and I cannot stress this enough, him.

    And then work on yourself and figure out why your self esteem was ever low enough to tolerate any of this (cheating, putting you down, refusing to leave).

17. Sounds like my ex, following s bunch of “sexy tiktok girls” I brokeup with him, he can go fk himself

18. Your too young for this crap. You are at your peak years for dating and building your future. If I could go back in time I’d not do what you are doing and wasting it on a man.

19. Oh wow. Are you sure this is the relationship you want to be in? He’s already cheated once – it doesn’t go for everyone, but usually people who have cheated are 100% capable (and sometimes willing) of doing it again. On top of that, he throws all these hot women in your face even though it bothers you? Girl, he as 0 respect for you and your guys’ relationship. He needs to grow up, and you need to move on. You don’t deserve this kind of behavior.

    ETA: I see that you live with him. As complicated as getting him out may be, it’s better to go through the hassle than stay with this dink for the rest of your life. Kick his ass out, even if it has to be done by law enforcement.

20. Kick him out and change the locks. He comes back and won’t leave call the fucking police. Get a restraining order if you don’t want him near you.

21. Throw him out with the cops if you need to and then go find that self respect that you lost somewhere along the way. You’re so young, STOP WASTING YOUR PRECIOUS YEARS ON THIS UNWORTHY BEING.

22. He’s immature and girl crazy. Sounds like he cant control his hormones at his big age.

    If he was 20 years old while trying dating a 16 year old, it’s safe to assume he’s also a predator and is unable to date women of his own age.

    That being said he may be settling for you because he knows you love him and won’t leave him. Not because he is actually in love with you.

    No man that love you would ever cheat on you and talk about other women all the time. So don’t let this guy treat you like that, leave as soon as you can and start healing from all of this.

23. He is a horrible human being. Who cheated and continues to disrespect you and your relationship. Instead of making amends due to his betrayal, he is checking girls out in front of you. But you should also understand that certain behaviors are not acceptable in a relationship. So talk to maybe to a therapist. Ask here ir your friend regarding happy and emotionally stable relationships. Perhaps you can build some idea about what a healthy relationship looks like and what is acceptable and not in a relationship.

24. Guys I’m reading all of your comments and I’m currently arguing with him . He is saying we are fine and he can’t leave at the moment as he just started work and his moms house is too far from work. He is away for go to the gym. I’ve expressed once again my feelings but he doesn’t think I’m right .

25. Also I should say he is no abusive in any way . He is kind in his way and he is nice and doesn’t shout or scream at me. He is never been violent or raised his voice.

26. Not a man, but I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I think it would crush my confidence. Hey- maybe that’s his intention? OR, he is trying to see If you are attracted to women too with the intent of eventually have a threesome.

27. You need to accept more for yourself in life. You are worth more than you’re allowing. Accept that and leave him

28. He does it because he can. Because you tolerate it.

29. You don’t ask him to leave, you just break up with him. Block him, ignore him, stop giving him your valuable time. He cheated on you and he has no respect for you. EDIT: Sorry you’re actually living with this person- pack up his stuff and leave it outside, tell your landlord to change the locks. Seriously, get a spine and get rid of him.

30. I’m actually so overwhelmed with your comments guys!

31. Why are you dating him? Just break up with him.

32. Is the solution here not obvious??

33. Guys like hot babes, what he does with that is more the issue.

34. Just seeing your edit. Good for you. Hold onto the good memories of him supporting you through your loss and having good times with him, and move on to someone who treats you with more loyalty and respect.

35. It’s not normal to be attracted to those extents in a normal commited relationship. Life is too short to be with someone who thinks or does otherwise. Kick his ass out like others have said.

36. He is like that because he doesn’t respect you. You deserve someone that admires you and adores you like EX boyfriend feels towards the TikTok women.

37. Thats not your boyfriend

38. When words and actions do not align, you always believe the actions over the words.

    You can do better.

39. Just a heads up, it’ll be hard to adjust to being alone the first couple of weeks, but watch shows you like, hang out with friends, go to the mall, engage in your hobbies. Don’t talk to him because he’ll worm his way back in. Block him and be done. Pretty soon you’ll probably find you love hanging out with yourself. It’s nice having freedom to do what you want completely on your own. Plus you get to rediscover who “you” are as a single person, not as part of a couple. You can do it 🙂 it’ll hurt but you’ll be ok.

40. “….besides the cheating, he’s a wonderful person…”

    But the physical and emotional cheating is a RBFD in a relationship. They’re called relationSHIPs for a reason. If they’re not balanced, they sink.

41. You are making a lot of excuses. Just kick him out. Or call someone over to tel him to leave. You’re being a pushover and you’re putting up with this behavior. Just because she says words doesn’t mean they are true or valid or should carry weight in your decisions. This is so bizarre.

42. I didnt even need to read past the first two sentences. Your “bf” is a piece of trash and you should leave him. Good luck.

43. Update us when you dump him!💪

44. I read below that he refuses to leave.

    Change the locks too and if you can do it try to have a friend or family member stay with you for a few days.

    People are less likely to act badly in front of witnesses.

45. He is disrespectful as hell. Do not put up with that!!

46. He’s not done playing the field. In short he fears being alone, but wants all the benefits that come with being single. This is the type that if you leave him and end up with someone else he’ll cry his eyes out before he finds someone else to latch on to and then he won’t be content there either.

    IMHO you are both too young. You are better off living with fellow GFs and vice versa. These are important years to solidify a secure future and you don’t need to be wasting it on stupid shit like this.