Guy I’m seeing treated an acquaintance like a sexual object, but is different with me—Why?
K started seeing a dude who a friend of a friend had history with. She said he was VERY open about crazy fantasies, they did a lot of sexting, he was pretty wild with her. I don’t think they ever met in person. I just started seeing the same guy (without knowing this) and while we’ve exchanged the odd pic and some flirting, he’s never treated me like this or spoken to me in that way. Actually, our first night together involved, only, cuddling. I don’t have any doubts that he’s attracted to me (I mean, dude stares at me like his eyes are going to launch out of his head) but the extreme difference in behavior between two women and the minimal communication has me a bit confused. Normally, I’d see this as maybe a positive but communication from him is minimal. He’s got good reasons and he’s legitimately busy but I see poor communication as a red flag. My first inkling is lack of chemistry, but wanted to get a guys perspective. Why the hypersexuality with one woman, and just basic polite flirting with another?
11 comments
Yea it’s definitely poor communication but I also bet he doesn’t know you want to do that
He probably puts you in gf category and her in just some fun category so giving two totally different experiences depending on what he wants from each individual.
Sounds like you just started seeing each other. The other girl he had an established relationship with. It maybe that he is still trying to get to know you more first. He may just work his way slowly up to the level of sexting you are waiting for. As far as the communication goes, you did say he is traveling for work and may just be occupied with while not being at home. Work probably needs to have his attention right now. Wait til he returns and see how it goes then. Talk for a bit, flirt more. See how he reacts to that. It’s up to you how far you want to go and when. If he seems to react positively, start texting a little more seductively. He returns the same start to take it more graphic to your desired level you want. If you’re not receiving what you want from him, he may have you in just a friendzone or GF zone possible, or some other zone that’s out there he has.
Good luck and happy sexting.
It’s cause he saw you as a more serious option whereas the other girl looked like a good time. That’s all.
Sometimes it’s the girl that makes you act differently. I had a girlfriend that was completely open about fantasies and very sex driven, so that’s how the relationship was. My next girlfriend wasn’t like that and so our relationship was different. For me it’s because everyone is different and so natural really the relationship is.
Because the women ask for it. I feel if they’re gonna throw themselves on you like that then they want to be treated that way.
One girl gives a man a feeling in his bottom brain and one girl gives a man feeling through his brain up top, some girls can give feelings to both brains. Sounds hard to understand but men are simple in terms of these.
If you didn’t get it, yes guys think through their dick, if the sex is good but the girl isnt checking the box for him mentally then she becomes a sex object to him and just for fun.
FYI before getting on the angry train and saying men are trash for that reasons and etc. men also have equal amount of reasons to call women that too so let’s just keep it civil and hopefully you can understand where I’m coming from.
Did you tell him that you are into pretty wild stuff? Are you? Coming out with you kinky side is most of the time not that easy. Maybe he is afraid that you wont like it. Maybe he is afraid to loose you, if he tells you about his fantasies.
You’re new.
A lot of it depends on the way the woman presents herself. Was his first impression of her as sexy/promiscuous while his impression of you is girl next door?
It could be you as well. Maybe you guys just act different so he brings a different energy level to it? Not every relationship will be the same and depending on the partner it’s gonna change.