My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. Our dynamic in bed has always been weird since the beginning because he didn’t see my pleasure as even a thing. After several conversations, and him mentioning that this is his first serious relationship and it’s taking him time to be caring in bed. He did start going down on me and acknowledging that I needed to orgasm as well. But that would only happen if we’d have an argument or fight about it a day before. He’d say he is going to try to be better and then forgets about it in 2 days. This cycle keeps continuing and now he has started blaming me for always bringing it up. He also mentions that it’s okay for him to not have sex at all??? Only because he wants to gaslight me into thinking that I complain and fight way too much about sex related issues. Honestly, I’m tired of complaining and only wanted to do so because I saw a future with him. I am so confused as to how to approach this because he is a great guy outside of this and I have never had issues related to him not caring about me.
3 comments
Stop allowing PIV until you’ve had an orgasm beforehand. Whether that be with his hands, his mouth, or a toy. Whatever.
When he tries to put his penis in you, tell him you’re not ready yet. You need to be warmed up. If he throws a hissy fit…. Oh well.
It’s okay for you to go without sex too. Especially if you’re not even getting off. So I’m not sure why that statement is even a threat.
I would run far far away from this man. I don’t want to have to convince _my friggen spouse_ to care about me. Caring about my pleasure is the absolute most basic low bar requirement in a relationship. He’s treating your pleasure like it’s a burden and nothing would dry up my vagina faster.
Take a step back and really think about that. You should not have to remind your boyfriend that he should care about you. He just should. I don’t care how nice he is outside the bedroom. I think that the way people behave in bed reflects their true feelings. This is who he really is. Selfish.
Also, 8 months into a relationship is still the honeymoon period. If you’re having this many sexual issues at 8 months, what’s 8 years going to look like?
life is too damn short to not be getting yours. send him on his way lol