So basically my partner and I have planned a trip overseas. I’ve had this opportunity come through to take part in this big modeling contest and it’s pretty much my pathway in bollywood if i was to win. The auditions will most likely be held in person next month in my home country. I asked my partner if he would be okay with me leaving for 2-3 days on our trip and flying back to our home country for the finals of the competition. He said I’m being stupid, I’d waste $2,000 on flights and I’m only thinking of myself. Just a back story, this whole year I’ve been pretty suicidal, lost and almost come to a point where I had no hope to live. It was only recently when I was given this opportunity, I stopped being depressed as I now have something to look forward to and I have perspective of what I want to do in life. I just know if I make it to the finals, and I can’t go because I’ll be in a different country and also my partner making me feel guilty of leaving him on our trip we planned for ages, I’ll be depressed again and in that suicidal state. Am I being silly, or should I not listen to my partner, and go and fly out for the finals?
4 comments
you should do the thing you seem set on doing. anything to look forward to after what you’ve been through is worth prioritizing as you recover.
You are seriously asking him for permisson to leave for a few days? Are you in chains? It’s your flipping life and don’t listen to him. Jealousy and insecurity talking. Do it and stop asking your partner for approval. Good Lord… get rid of the chains and think about yourself first. Wild guess here… part of the reason you might be depressed could be him smothering you… Get out of that relationship!
Go and chase your dream. However, that might come at a cost.
There are lots of things to unpack here…
One, you should be able to leave and do whatever you want, it’s your life.
Two, even if you win in a different country are there not going to be huge complications because you aren’t residing in the country you won in? You’d have to move to be closer to the work, pay huge taxes on any winnings because you aren’t working over there currently, and so on… maybe I’m missing something here but there’s a lot you need to think about if you’re going to take that risk.
Three, you need to treat your depression with therapy and medication. It is not something that will go away if you win, and your mental health in general should not be reliant on you taking risks. Risks are risks, there’s a chance you won’t make it, and then what? Treat that first, before taking any further steps.
It’s a lot to think about.