Some time ago I found out that my boyfriend contacts escorts or sex workers for nudes and I told him that it makes me uncomfortable and it feels like you’re cheating on me.
Just yesterday, I asked him and he told me he never stopped. He would contact escorts and wait for pictures and then block. He also told me he looks up massage parlors with happy endings.
He said he would never even get a massage cause he doesn’t trust himself around woman if she were to touch him.
I definitely feel betrayed. I know he hasn’t done anything physical but I just wonder if this would become more.
27 comments
ummm this doesn’t sound like u can trust him at all.
and i wouldnt either
He’s not gunna stop so definitely leave
It’s cheating and lame excuse. He could get nude pictures online yet he’s reaching out to strangers.
“cause he doesn’t trust himself around woman if she were to touch him.” The fuck does that mean?
I don’t know if it’s considered cheating but it’s certainly not something I would put up with.
I feel for you OP, be strong.
Yes
Lol ummm he’s lying to you and it’s def not just nudes.
I think receiving nudes and asking for nudes from other people is cheating. I also think that activities beyond boundaries you have established constitute cheating – seeing as you said that you told your boyfriend that it makes you uncomfortable and that you feel like it is cheating, his continuing to do so is a major red flag.
Yeah you gotta peace out he is set in his ways and he isn’t even trying to hide his actions sorry love 🙁
It’s up to you if it’s cheating really. If you’re relation is closed, monogamous than yes I’d say it is. If it makes you feel uncomfortable that’s all that matters. He sounds like he has some issues and definitely doesn’t respect you or your feelings.
“He doesn’t trust himself around women if they were to touch him”….ummm do u not see how bad that is? He has no self control. He has no respect for women.
It doesn’t matter how you label it. Also, why does it matter if it becomes more? Are the current actions alone not reason enough to run from this? He’s not sorry nor is he planning on stopping. That’s the relationship you want to be in?
I hope this is fake. I truly don’t understand how or why people put up with this.
RED FLAGS!! He has either already or about to go all in to what he is telling you. He’s telling you the red flags here that:
1. He contacts escorts for nudes.
2. He looks up massage parlors with happy endings.
3. He doesn’t trust himself around women if they were to touch him.
He’s giving you the warning signs that he will, and is already, and you are just sitting there wondering if he is cheating. Get your things and leave this relationship. There is no trust and there is no question. RUN!
“cause he doesn’t trust himself around woman if she were to touch him.”
This is a little concerning, all it takes is some touch and he doesn’t know if he’ll stay faithful?Sounds like a catch
He’s clearly crossing a line you’ve made clear. If you didn’t tell him you’re okay with it then it’s not okay for him to do. It’s throwing your trust and feelings aside. So I would say yes, he’s emotionally cheating on you.
yup, cheating. you can do better
It’s cheating, especially after you’ve expressed your distaste for it, you deserve someone who actually respects your boundaries. I’m sure he’d think it was cheating if the roles were reversed.
Leave him op, this will definitely cause trust issues long term and it doesn’t seem worth it. I get that you’ve been together for 5 years but would you let this man trample over you your whole life. I know it’s hard but please do, if you need someone to talk with if you’re alone you can always pm me. But leave him.
He won’t stop, it hurts to admit but please don’t settle
Girl please leave. I think you know better than to be with someone like this. Don’t waste any more of your time. It IS better to be alone than with someone who treats you like this.
Yes I would consider soliciting nudes as cheating. Also he basically told you if a woman were to ever come on to him, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from cheating. I guess consider yourself lucky that he is obviously not attractive enough to ever get approached by a woman, or else he would have cheated by now. He is a bottom of the barrel man, do yourself a favor and dump him.
He’s trash dump him.
Why would you trust him enough to be in a relationship when he’s said he can’t even trust himself ?
Yeah that’s definitely fucked up. Cheating is cheating. But that’s wrong no matter what it is, especially if it makes you that uncomfortable
He’s already cheated and doesn’t love you or find you attractive. Given the chance he’ll sleep with someone. Leave.. you’re not going to want a future with this person