Would you accept a gift from someone that treats you badly?

6 comments

1. I would not let them treat me badly

2. No. Just smile and say ” no thanks”. Watch her die inside.

   If you really wanna be a dick, say aww thanks and immediately throw it away in front of her.

3. I remember there’s an old saying by Saint tulsidas that goes by “Refrain from entering the house of those people whose eyes do not glimmer with love upon seeing you, even when it rains gold and silver there”

4. I would not… It’s often a window for them to say “I did __ for you and this is what I get?”

   There are a lot of ways to refuse, and while some commenters here have a kind of fantasy of pwning them, there are a lot of power dynamics that make that risky in practice.

   The most diplomatic and safe option that still gets your approach across is to refuse with very little elaboration… “Thanks! I think I’m good though”, “Thanks for the offer, but I think I must refuse”, “I’m not currently comfortable accepting a gift right now”, “Given our dynamic recently I’m not comfortable taking gifts right now”, etc.

   If they force elaboration you can repeat “I’m just not comfortable with it” or “it’s just my boundaries right now” etc.

   If you’re not in a power dynamic where it matters and you don’t have politics to worry about, feel free to say “You’re not very nice to me and I don’t want you to think a gift will undo it” or “The only gift I want is you either respecting me or leaving me alone” or “Get the fuck away from me” depending on the situation. OR actually accept the gift and ghost them at that point.

5. I would figure it’s more gaslighting.

6. I would not accept a gift from someone like that, I actually went through something similar. When I was in high school I went to this program & there was this girl that would occasionally show up, for context I was 16 when I met her & she was about 23. She would always humiliate me & try to psychoanalyze me, I’ve been through a lot in my life & she would say things like “I can tell you have no friends and you’re very lonely” “you’ve been abused, I can tell because you do…” & much more IN FRONT OF OTHERS. Years passed & I ran into her again like in the summer of this year. She started asking me a bunch of personal questions and I noticed she started to manipulate me to get personal info about me. I ended up telling her that I wanted to move out of my house but didn’t go too much deeper into detail. Few days passed and she contacted me & said she knew someone who could give me a place to stay for free. I got this horrible feeling about this & I never took the offer. But I still wonder what she would’ve done if I would’ve taken up on the offer. I have a feeling like she might talk shit about me to our mutuals because I also rejected a friendship with her right after & she kept doing other stuff that was crossing my boundaries. So I say all this to say DO NOT ACCEPT THE GIFT. Whatever their intentions are, don’t accept it, it could end worse they might be trying to manipulate you by offering the flowers but it doesn’t matter try to avoid them, do not engage.