So basically, we met on tinder. At this point I \[M21\] have kind of given up on tinder because of the amount of times I arrange a date only to be ghosted a few days before the date. I asked her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime and surprisingly enough she said yes and we ended up meeting last Friday.
The date was amazing, the best I’ve had to be honest. I live in Ireland but am originally from a different country and moved here around 12 years ago, and I very rarely meet people my age from my country. I then find out she’s from the same town as me in Ireland (We met up in the city where we go to college), she’s also from the same country as me, she’s from the same city as me in my home country and we both moved here around the same time. Crazy coincidences, and all this aside, we have plenty of other things in common, we have similar humour and I even ended up driving her back home. Normally I am an anxious person but she really made me feel at ease. I just couldn’t stop smiling when I was talking to her.
Fast forward to today, and I cannot go longer than like 15 minutes without thinking about her and being super anxious. She is not active on social media so we exchange about 1-3 messages a day, which makes it very hard to tell how she feels about me. I feel like during the date she was interested too because a few tells were there like laughing at all my bad jokes, strong eye contact and light touching, but I can’t help overthink every little thing I do regarding her.
I asked her two days after the first date if she wants to have dinner next Friday (18th) but she said she is very busy this week and suggested we do it next week. I know the fact that she suggested another time for it is a good sign but I am really worried she will lose interest in me by the time that comes around. I really don’t want to mess this up because I genuinely felt a connection with her for the first time in my life, I think she is gorgeous, funny, kind and smart, she ticks all my boxes and I just cant get her out of my head. Is this normal or am I being weird?
I’m trying my best to not scare her away with my intensity because I know it is strange for me to become so attached after one date, since realistically I barely know her, but I am finding is so god damn fucking difficult. If anyone has been in a similar situation and has some advice to give, it would be much appreciated because I am about to lose my mind.
***TL;DR: After going on one date with a girl I cannot get her out of my mind, looking for advice :)***
2 comments
The harder you push, the more you will push her away. If she really likes you she’s not going to lose interest between now and your next date, especially since she was the one who wanted to postpone it. You can keep texting her every now and then to keep contact but the best thing you can do is to relax and not try to force it.
Cut off all contact unless she texts you first, until Monday, when you try to arrange another date.
This is a dangerous period for you. Anything in your texts that even hints of the stink of desperation, she will be in the wind.
If you cut down texting and she still bails, it’s not on you.
If you text her more as a reaction to her pulling back, it is on you.