I’m a foreigner traveling in Florida and I’ve heard people using sir a lot.
So I said “thank you sir” to a 60-70yo man when he held the door open. He then said rather annoyed “don’t call me sir, I was in the enlisted(? Not sure what he said) and walked away.
I thought it was just a polite thing to say but apparently some people don’t appreciate it.
What should I have called him and how would I have known?
20 comments
That was just that one person being cheeky.
It is not reserved for military officers.
No
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Ignore him, it’s just one idiot being cranky. Sir is a perfectly polite was to address a man, especially an older stranger
that was a joke
You don’t call an enlisted man “Sir”. They work for a living. He probably wasn’t being all that serious.
Military officers are addressed as “sir” or “ma’am”. If someone served in the military by enlistment those are addressed by rank *eg* Sergeant or Chief (Chief petty officer). Enlisted persons do the work as ordered by officers, so it’s common to say “I worked for a living” as a reference to this structure.
You’re doing it right, he was making a joke.
Hahaha he was joking.
He was enlisted in the military not an officer so he is just joking about military structure. You have to call officers sir.
It’s appropriate and respectful. Enjoy your travels in Florida!
The person you said that to you was an asshole. You were 100% correct.
It’s just a common military joke.
I’ve never heard this joke either, OP. It would have been lost on me too and left me a little confused.
99.99999% of people would take it as respectful, just the way you intended. It was just bad luck on your part to encounter an asshole. Then again, you were in Florida. They seem to grow in profusion there.
It’s a very common joke among enlisted army ncos born out of basic training. You’re supposed to address commissioned officers as sir/ma’am but address an nco as ____ sergeant. New recruits will often also refer to their drill sergeant as sir/ma’am early on and they’ll respond with “don’t call me sir, I work for a living!”. It’s a joke at the expense of commissioned officers, implying they don’t actually do work. The joke persists outside of basic training anytime someone refers to an nco as sir/ma’am. Though it is usually kept to military circles (as it’s a bit of an inside joke) and a bit unusual to say to a civilian, let alone a foreign one.
As such, I’m 90% sure they were just trying to be playful, but there is always the possibility they were serious and being crotchety.
It is perfectly fine to say sir, you just encountered a weird guy
In the Southern states, Florida included, sir and ma‘am are used quite often. I’m 57 y/o and always use sir or ma’am if I’m speaking to someone I don’t know. An example would be if I’m at a restaurant and the waitress asks me if I’d like more sweet tea with my meal, I’ll say, “Yes ma’am.”
It’s just the way I was raised.
Like other people said it was probably a joke. You’re always safe to say “Thank you” and avoid using any titles like sir, maam, etc.
To answer your questions at the end, it isn’t necessary to say sir in that context. A simple “Thank you” is fine; I can’t think of any cases where you would need to add an honorific.
As for how would you know, that’s tricky. Other than to get someone’s attention, they use of “sir” or “ma’am” is uncommon in the US outside the South or among military or ex-military. Some people are salty about it. But I don’t think it shows up much in common advice for foreign visitors to the US, perhaps because it’s not expected that foreigners would use it. So you wouldn’t have known.