Scary looking men, how does it impact your social interactions?

20 comments

  1. 6ft 4, bearded and used to play rugby. I can see the people genuinely scared of just the presence of me, Its a rubbish feeling.

    I’m fortunate having my friends who know me for me but randomers while on a train or when coming home from work will always walk a bit faster, stay away as much they can.

    Granted it does have its advantages if you see someone getting harassed in public just me being there can make them stop before I even say anything.

  2. Not scary but I’ve been told I don’t look approachable because I always seem annoyed. It’s fine with me, I don’t want to talk to people.

  3. it used to be nice, no one would randomly approach me, people didn’t feel compelled to make small talk and every single interaction at work was completely professional.

    now iv had a kid and suddenly people feel very confident that I must be nice because I’m a dad.

  4. Honestly. It’s great.
    Grew up short + weak. Used to get a lot of shit.
    Grew up, Still short but hit the gym, joined the army, placed top 3 in a number of national kickboxing comps. Now I don’t get shit anymore.

  5. Big dude, very full beard, heavily tattooed (including hands and neck).

    It’s usually not a big deal but there are situations where it is a downside. Work is one. It’s only people who are more uptight or nervous already, but sometimes i know they are feeling uneasy around me. Like they think i’m some kind of different person who they need act different around.

  7. My “walking scowl” masks the pure inner peace I feel as I blast Spice Girls through my ear buds as I confidently stride through the crowds.

  8. It’s annoying, but since people are afraid of us simply for being men (let alone if we’re actually scary looking) I pretty much ignore it.

  9. I’m this 6ft muscle bound Dave Grohl looking guy, and things don’t always go over right even if I’m not doing anything to make myself look like a threat.

    It doesn’t help that I’m a metalhead and just dress in a way that doesn’t make me seem super approachable. Yet even when I’m not dressed like that, I still get the same sort of reactions while doing the most mundane and non threatening stuff. Like at this one bookstore I visited while on a road trip I kept getting odd looks from the women who worked there even though I was just enjoying taking the whole place in and looking at sci-fi books and just the sort that I’d think most people would help them see I wasn’t a threat. There was this dad who pushed his kid past me when I was checking out some of the books and not really paying attention to them.

    Just the shock people get whenever they actually take the time to talk to or get to know me is sort of funny. It’s not always some cartoonish like relief, and some people are really committed to wanting to see me as a bad guy. Sure I might not be super nuanced or the sort of pleasantly palatable sort of person most people expect these days. But that doesn’t stop my gf’s lady friends from babying me and acting like overprotective sisters to me.

  10. 6′ 1″ bearded, tattooed (including my face) I look scary but I’m soft spoken. I hate to admit that I kind of like that people are afraid to approach me because then I can interact with people on my terms (I have social/ general anxiety and mild PTSD)

    I always try to be polite and generous and they’re generally surprised and appreciative.

  11. It does not impact almost nothing, surprisingly. On top of being scary (according to some people I know), I’m also quite grumpy and still people usually approach me in a friendly manner

  12. I’m a pretty large guy, former military, played rugby, etc etc. For a while I had folks try to fight me pretty regularly when I’d go out because I was the largest in the bar or because I have a middle eastern look, or whatever reason.

    I also have had women walk faster if I was behind them, cross the street, etc. Have even once had a woman in a line at the bank pull her kid who was waving at me in front of her to hide him with her body. When I was around 25 I even had a woman at the gym ask for a manager because she felt threatened by me…I was there first and only using 2 machines which were something like 30 feet from her…I was just in the zone (and no, I don’t grunt or yell when I lift so it was JUST how I looked)

    Not sure what shifted but by the time I met my wife she said “you had a good energy” and she was VERY standoffish to most people up to that point. I’ve had similar comments in the last decade or more, mostly from women who said they felt safe around me immediately, which I take as the highest compliment I can get from them.

    I THINK it comes from being comfortable in my own skin, abilities, personality, whatever. Around the same time as I noticed the shift in reaction was when I shifted my locus of self worth to be internal and it made a world of difference. I could be wrong about it, but being at peace with yourself helps project safety rather than threat at a subconscious level. Or I’m full of it and don’t know what I’m talking about…who knows? 🙂

  13. Other men are noticeably more respectful, and kind of… submissive, like over eager to get approval from me? Woman in most situations (gas station, grocery store, etc) are either flirty to break tension or will completely ignore me. I completely ignore everyone as a rule because I’m bad at being social.

  14. people think twice before they want to ask you for the way or try to mess with you, when i ask something they are answering always nice because they thinking when they don’t be nice i rip there head off
    when i asking friendly or nice for something they look like i want to trick them or they can’t believe that i can be a nice person.
    when people get to know me they are really surprised and change there mind about me, but it’s needing a lot of time and when i show to much interest they go 2 steps back or cutting the contact.
    in the the point of woman it needs a lot of time before they trust me because they thinking I’m aggressive, controlling or manipulate them. Woman are going the most time out of my way, only when they drunk or have enough courage then they asking me for a cigarette but nothing more.

  15. I wouldn’t say I look scary but maybe a little socially intimidating. Like nobody thinks I’m going to hurt them, I’m not tall or muscular or anything, but I do look like I’d probably tell them to fuck off? If that makes sense. Male RBF and just generally looking annoyed all the time. And to be fair, I kind of am. I have a very low tolerance for people.

    It doesn’t effect me much. I open up to who I want to open up to and when I do I have no issues. Most people just learn to accept that’s just my face and nothing is wrong.

  16. Large man. Large beard. Tattoos. Resting mean face. Look like a lumberjack in most cases.

    People always ask me what’s wrong, or just avoid me. And honestly I’m fine with that. But I’m a big softie. I’m a lover not a fighter, Catholic church-goer. I just want to play with puppies.

  17. 6ft 6, long hair, always looking like i wasn’t sleeping in entire life and looking like I’m mad as Kratos in youth days. (that’s what my friends say at least and I kinda agree)

    Honestly? It’s complicated. On one hand it’s good because most people won’t bother you or just go away, but on the other it makes people look like they want to shit themselfs before you.
    And yeah… Children are scared as hell, I avoid eye contact with them to not make them cry.

    It’s also really funny when someone introduce me to their friend and like 10 minutes later I can hear someone say “Jesus, is he always like that? He’s looking like he was going to kill me but he’s really nice”

  18. Because of my clothes and appearance choice I look pretty sketchy, like maybe a drug dealer/abuser so people seem to give me those second ‘what’s his deal?’ glances and I am rarely talked to. Which is fine, I guess. If youre going to judge me that quickly, we probably don’t have much to agree on anyway.

  19. People are scared to talk to me. I grew up in the hood so I learned to have a serious look on my face, which stuck.
    The only time I got shook was when a girl I was having issues with at work admitted that I reminded her of the guy who raped her. Kept my distance and contact with her to a minimum after that.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like