I’m just genuinely curious, no judgement here. This is specifically regarding financially stable couples, as I personally am friends with many couples who are done with school, have a good career… some are together for 4 years, some for 8, some for longer. And whenever we have a girls day out, my girlfriends are always talking about how every vacation, every holiday, they expect a ring but it never happens. To the men of reddit who are in this situation, just curious about your reasoning. Especially when it’s been like 8 long years.
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They’re probably financially stable because they don’t buy into the dog and pony show of being engaged and then married 🤣
Gotta get more likes on the wedding photos you post on social media than that bitch Kelsey! *She* didn’t have a chocolate fountain like you did!
If they are financially stable trust me none of them wanna cut their gains by half when the sad and bad time come . So why marry and be in danger of loosing half your stuff ?
Why do people need to get married? They stay together because they want to, not because society and religion think they should.
They scared.
Why do they need to be married?
Because marriage doesn’t mean anything today. I am married now, but spent 6 years with my husband before we decided to make it legal. The only reason we did was to make it easier to make medical decisions, property ownership, etc. for each other in case of an emergency. Outside of that, there really isn’t much reason to get the government involved in your private relationships.
Some wanna make sure it’s gonna work, some want to be mentally ready themself before proposing, and many other possible reasons.
No need to immedietly marry each other just because it’s been 3 years they have been together.
For exemple, my parents have been together for 7 years before getting married and they are still together today.
I don’t need the government involved in where my dick goes.
Why should they have to?
They probably like the current arrangement and thinks marriage will add pressure to the relationship and possibly the annoying question of when they will have kids which may not be what they want.
Have been in one (5+ years) and honestly, as a guy, I see no benefit to marrying besides tax purposes.
Why should they?
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>And whenever we have a girls day out, my girlfriends are always talking about how every vacation, every holiday, they expect a ring but it never happens.
Well, if they want to get married so badly, they can discuss this with their partners. A lot of men aren’t necessarily opposed to marriage but it may not be on their priority list either.
Just waiting passively for a ring and not talking about it only leads to disappointment.
Why tf would a man want to get married? Lmao 😂
Because men don’t generally garner the same amount of benefit from marriage contracts that women do.
Neither one of us cares when we get married.
The relationship dynamic of marriage is significantly different than the relationship dynamics of an unmarried couple living together. Family law in my country favors women significantly in divorce. Once a man says I do he has given up all power in the relationship. His new wife is now in charge, even if she doesn’t immediately realize it. It doesn’t matter how altruistic she is, this power dynamic will damage the relationship. Most couples are relying on their partner not just for the emotional needs but also for financial needs. Once one person knows that no matter what she does she is set for life financially it’s just too easy to give up and stop trying in the relationship. It has now become entirely the man’s responsibility to make the relationship work and he is in real trouble if he fails to do so. No one should be given that level of power over their spouse.
I doubt most people are consciously aware of all this, but they see it in their friends and family. They see once happy couples devolve into hatred and bitterness within a few years of marriage. This tends to leave you with a sense that there’s something toxic there and it should be avoided.
My husband and and I were together more than 10 years (and financially stable for most of it) before we finally got married last summer. It really had nothing to do with money and more to do with family stuff
People usually stay happier together without the idea of losing half your shit to your SO looming over their heads if they ever decide to break up. Besides, the government has no business telling you what you can or cannot do with finances should you decide to get married. Taxation is theft after all.
It depends on the country but at least in mine, you end up paying more in taxes when you get married so it only makes sense if you want kids.
I would want to get married but without a huge wedding.
Probably because they don’t believe in it. The whole idea of marriage is “let’s stay together no matter what happens”. To a lot of people this doesn’t make sense, because you don’t choose how long you want to be with someone.
Weddings are super expensive and stressful. Going to city hall comes with family judgement.
Besides tax purposes marriage is costly and pointless
If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a “well maybe I will stick around in this thing until I find some one better.” And then 4 years into it, one of them cheats. Knew a couple who bought property together and the guy cheated. He was never that into her. She was just a warm body with low self-esteem who he know would stick around while he looked around. We need to change the social stigma attached to being single. People should be patient until they either (a) find the hell yes, or (b) get to the point where they understand they will never find the hell yes, but this is the absolutely best they can find and they value the relationship enough to really commit to it and not wait around for something better to come along.
Unless you’re planning to have kids there is no need to get married imo
Men gain nothing from marriage, but they lose a shit ton in divorce. If you were a man, would you want to take that risk for no gain?
To begin with most people are not religious anymore. Secondly, a good portion of people are tired from all the complexity in every day life, adding another contract set up by the government to it doesn’t exactly help in keeping life simple. And lastly, I don’t see any particular benefits that would be big enough to justify the risks one takes on with marriage.
What does marriage have to do with “financially stable” anyways? Most people claim relationships are all about love (yeah I’m playing devils advocate with this one)