I and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for 1.5 years. To note, this is my first ever relationship and 3rd relationship for my girlfriend. During the beginning of our relationship 6-8 months, we used to have sex almost every day and I used to feel her craving for me physically. She used to initiate sex and sex was so intense that I felt like she was using me for sex only and I loved it. We even have a Reddit account where we posted our videos and stories.
Recently for the last couple of months, I feel like she is not attracted to me physically anymore. I have talked with her a couple of times stating how much I love sex and how much it affects my mood if we do not have sex for a couple of days as my preferred love language is physical. Even after multiple times talking it out, she pretends to understand me for one week as she will initiate sex or show me she is craving for me physically but after a week of the talk, she again goes back to being normal. Yes if I do ask her to have sex she mostly does but it feels like she is having sex just to make me happy. Comparing our sex life currently with the beginning of our relationship sex life, it feels like there is a huge void from her side.
My girlfriend’s love language is being emotional with each other meaning going on dates, watching movies, cooking, playing board games, etc. Yes, I love doing these kinds of stuff also but I cannot tend to enjoy these kinds of stuff because it feels like my needs are not being fulfilled and she has taken me for granted. I have tried multiple times to initiate sex or spice things up in our relationship through multiple different ways such as role play, buying lingerie for her, trying to talk dirty, taking her out on a nice date and bringing her back drunk/high, etc. Still, she doesn’t seem to be interested. Yes, I do feel her love in her way but at this point, I am starting to get frustrated.
Being this is my first relationship, I am not sure whether I should continue this relationship. I love her a lot and I have had passionate sex with her and I really love it and I want it back
2 comments
After 1.5 years, you’re out of the honeymoon phase and the amount of sex typically decreases. How often are y’all having sex? Does she get off? Also, physical contact as a love language typically means hugs, cuddles, etc not all about sex so not having it for a few days doesn’t mean she’s neglecting your needs.
You mentioned her love language is being emotional, try incorporating a sexual element into the cooking, board games, etc. You could also have a convo getting to the nitty gritty of why things have drastically changed, like is there something different about her or you that’s changed her sex drive. My partner and I try to check in regularly to make sure we are both getting what we want/need from the relationship and love languages are being tended to.