How often do you experience the “slow fade” in relationships or friendships? what do you do about it?

13 comments

1. Ah, pretty much every relationship. 30, been around the block a few times at this point and although I’m in a wonderful relationship I keep wondering when she’ll stop initiating, hesitate to say that she loves me, stop saying that she loves me and then just slowly, ever so slowly distances herself from me.

   What have I DONE about it? Christ, I’m not sure. If anything I just dread it more since it’s happened so often over the past decade.

2. Unfortunately this is the way of life ans seems more normal and acceptable in society as opposed to “I no longer like you, goodbye”

3. I try to start conversations and get no excited replies, or jokes get just passed by. I just don’t try again. Sometimes you have to read the room.

4. I like my friendships with guys because we can not see each other for years and then pick up right where we lft off and it’s never awkward. If I realize the slow fade or think, that I should reach out, I do.

5. Definitely experienced it in friendships and I miss the friend but also, what else can you do?

   Like, I can only invite a friend to so many things and have them keep saying no before the invites stop.

6. I experienced that with a “friendship” this year. It was horrible and I have lo respect for that person at all. I tried communicating with her, but she refused to admit there was a problem. It’s just so disrespectful to do the slow fade or whatever it’s called. People think they are being nice, but it actually is fucked up and really fucks with the other person

7. I’m in my thirties and that seems to be most of my friend group as they go and live their lives with families and careers and such. I don’t think it’s intentional, it’s just kinda how it goes when you have higher priorities

8. As least as far as friends/acquaintances go, I more view it as something I expect to cycle back around eventually.

   While there’s certainly some people who’ve disappeared for good, there’s *lots* of people in my life who’ve dropped out of it/been very low-contact for years at a time and eventually came back into it in full.

   As long as they’re not frequently flaking out on concrete plans that had been made/agreed on, nothing I take offense to or take particularly personally.

9. Honestly, I don’t really care about it in friendships since there isn’t as much attachment and commitment imo. However, in relationships, it fucking sucks bro.

   I was dating a girl for 3 months and it was the best relationship I ever had (objectively and without rose-tinted glasses). 2-3 weeks before it “ended”, I noticed that she no longer responded within 15 minutes, it took 1 hour (not an issue, but given the set standard – I noticed it). There was slightly less enthusiasm in her texts. In person she was pretty much the same, perhaps a tiny bit less cheerful. As the days/weeks went on everything became more obvious – all those things I mentioned became way more stronger and obvious. Then it just ended with her not responding to me. It fucking hurt but what can you do… life moves on..

10. I’m a parent who makes friends with the parents of my kids’ friends. Slow fade is all we ever do.

11. This is just life. One or both of you of you changed and now have nothing in common. You don’t break up with your friend you just stop hanging out.

12. Pretty commonly. People got lives, kids, parents to take care of, other shit. I’m not the center of their universe.

    Dating, ehh it happens and I don’t really give it much thought unless I get a why haven’t you messaged me message after radio silence. I figure someone else caught their attention and move on.

13. Oh happend so manny times …. I stopt counting .