FWB invited me to a work party
I (22f) just got out of an open relationship and during this relationship I had a FWB (24m). Things were always very casual and we eventually both became part of the same friend group. A few weeks ago my open relationship ended and I’m now single. I’ve hung out with this guy, the FWB, but I’m not sure what he wants. He has said he doesn’t want a relationship and is happy with how casual things are, but then he also does these really sweet things when I need it. Recently he’s also invited me to a work party. He didn’t invite anyone else, just me, and I’m not even one of his better friends in the group. It’s like one moment he’s extremely distant and the other it’s like he does want more. He just confuses me a lot and I don’t even know if I’m ready for this to become anything else than FWB…
Should I go to this work event with him? Or is he just playing me?
TL;DR! : FWB acts hot and cold like he’s in a Katy Perry music vid and then asks me to go to a work party with him
4 comments
How I read this: he wants to move farther, but because of your prior open relationship, he views you as a non-committer and doesn’t want to push you away. He is trying to ease you toward traditional commitment eventually.
Of course I could be entirely wrong, but that would explain the mixed signals he is giving
It does sound like he wants more than FWB. Are you avoiding a real relationship with all men or just him? I would go to the party and gauge how how reacts and treats you while you’re there. How does he introduce you to co-workers, does he stay close and hold your hand, etc. If you think your relationship will go in a direction you’re not ready for, then tell him a few days after the party. You obviously care about him otherwise you would’t be asking what to do. So, the best thing you can do is be honest with him to avoid either of you geting hurt. Good luck 💜
It’s possible that he’s leaning on the ‘friend’ part of FWB here and just enjoys you as a person but isn’t necessarily wanting a relationship. What do you want?
Have you discussed polyamory or a non traditional relationship structure? Be interesting to see if he has the emotional intelligence to articulate what he is looking for.