I and my boyfriend started dating almost an year back. It was a perfect relationship in the start. We got along pretty well, had same interests and values (that’s what I thought at least). Things were good for the most part but then relationship started to get toxic. For example, he would not like my going to the gym, so I stopped or he wouldn’t like my talking to a certain friend, I stopped. I went above and beyond for this relationship. I tried my best to keep things going. I think I have been a good partner.
After an year of being together, he went abroad to study and we entered into a long distance relationship. Within a month of ldr, he started being distant and stopped calling and texting me. After bringing this up mutiple times, he eventually broke up with me by ghosting me.
I had no option but to move on. I did not keep tabs on him or talk to him during that period but I got to know that he started dating some girl from his class (the girl i was worried about) but we had broken up so i guess it was none of my business anymore.
Two months pass, and he starts calling me. I talked to him and learned that he missed me and wants to get back together and he felt guilty about this whole thing. He did confess dating someone three weeks after, but that did not last long as the girl left him within two weeks. He said that he learnt his lesson and he will never do this again.
We got back together and things are better, but i dont feel good about this relationship anymore. I still have feelings for him obviously, but i don’t understand why after all he put me through. He says that he really really love me and all the good words.
But two days back we were talking on the phone and i think something triggered me and I started talking about how much he has hurt me, i went on ranting about it and he apologized but then got annoyed after somepoint and hung up my call.
We haven’t talked since then, it’s been two days. I don’t know what to do.
tl;dr: i want to get out of the relationship but i am unable to.
4 comments
If you want to break up make sure to plan ahead what you’ll be doing for the next few months. Break ups are hard so go Netflix and cry while eating ice cream, rant and get support from family and friends, go out and do things, maybe cancel plans and cry at home, work on your career, pick up new hobbies, etc. Consider if you want to break up on text or in person, but definitely let him know you’re breaking up. Give closure if you want. Make sure to cut off all contact since you’ll be healing.
If you consider staying make sure you guys both work on yourselves. He seems insecure and a bit controlling — make sure he learns to communicate his insecurities in a healthy way, as well as learning how to trust you. The gym is a healthy habit. You on the other hand should stand up for yourself more. Don’t take disrespect or do things you don’t actually want to do. Don’t take bullshit ever. Work on the toxic habits together. Communicate healthily. If it doesn’t work cut it.
Time to conquer your fears girlie. Being comfortable alone and just with yourself will make you more comfortable when you are in a relationship with someone. You don’t feel good about the relationship because he dropped you for someone else and came back when it didn’t work out. Now you get to play the fun mental gymnastics of wondering if you are even what he wants/good enough for the rest of your relationship. DON’T DO THAT TO YOURSELF! You are worth more than that nonsense. Bite the bullet and break up with him plan outings do something fun you want to do on your bucket list talk to friends/family. Implement your coping skills and move on.
He’s a toxic player. Moving on and working on yourself would be the best option. I don’t think that this relationship would lead to a happiness. I had gone through almost the same thing. I stayed. The result: deep depression and a gap year at school.
Block him and move on. He dumps you when someone more interesting comes along then actually tells you that he only wants you back because the new exciting girl didn’t work out (“I’ve learned my lesson”. ) Fuck that!
He will keep doing it as long as you let him. Don’t be that sad girl who clings on to a man that neither loved nor respects her.
Be strong. Don’t sleepwalk into your 40’s or 50’s being with a cunt who throws you a few crumbs when he’s in between his other fucks.