My partner wanted a cat for our daughter, so she got a cat. She wanted a dog, so she found my favorite breed of dog and we got dogs. She wanted a house where we could have her horses on the property and I wanted a bigger yard for the kids, so we got that too (we picked out the house together). Now she says she sleeps terribly and is always cranky because the dogs move around too much at night and it wakes her up, the cat meows too much to go in and out at night and it wakes her up, and our bedroom doesn’t keep at a temperature she likes.
All of these were things she wanted to bring into our life and now it feels like she is using them as an excuse to be unhappy and never sleep over.
If you are wondering why she isn’t always sleeping in our house it is because we separated for a bit and she moved out and we are working on rebuilding the relationship now. Her poor sleep and constant crankiness were a part of what lead to that separation.
Now that she has her own place with no nighttime disturbances she sleeps much better and is less cranky and things have greatly improved between us, but she almost never sleeps over, even when it would be convenient for her. The kids are with me 90% of the time because her place is incredibly small, so she hangs out at the house with us a ton.
What can I do?
2 comments
Seems like you do not have a good equal relationship. Sounds like she decides what she wants, and you go along with it.
That is not the kind of relationship that survives. You need to stop being the door mat, and move on with your life, without her.
Right now, you are nothing more than a fallback plan “B”. Don’t be anyone’s plan “B”.
Shes not moving back in she has a bangpad and you have all the responsibilities. You’ve allowed yourself to be walked over so it might be time to stand up for yourself and when she complains about everything remind her that the house and pets were what she wanted so she can handled the responsibilities and you can go enjoy the bangpad. After a couple of days she will be begging for you to come back then its upto you to set some boundries for moving forward