what is something you realized you actually liked/enjoyed after getting out of an abusive relationship?

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  1. I’ll start… myself, my family, my job, but also children(I was repulsed by them because he tried to force me to have them with him).

  2. I picked up shooting rifles and pistols. I had lots of good target ideas after my breakup.

    /r/socialistRA

    /r/liberalgunowners

  4. How much time I actually have and how deeply I actually feel. Everytime I enjoyed something, I immediately worried I couldn’t tell him or he’d make a scene because he felt excluded. With that worry gone, I feel so much and have so much energy to do things again.

  6. My own company. I felt more alone in that relationship than I do when I am actually alone and at peace.

  11. Wearing lipstick.

    Small, I know… but after years of wanting to be almost invisible that was quite something

  12. Wearing heels. I’m tall and he wasn’t much taller than I am, so of course he never wanted me to wear them and was very derogatory about it when I tried. Turns out I look damn good in heels and I don’t give a rats a$! about any man who is insecure about that.

  13. Driving a car. Paying bills. Being an adult. He convinced me I couldn’t handle adulthood, turns out I can and I love it.

  14. Peace of mind.

    I was consistently in some mix of feeling anxious, sad, lonely, agitated, etc. Toxic relationships will make you question your sanity and worth. I used to think there was something wrong with me bc of the extreme emotions. Now that I’m free of that relationship I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, no rollercoaster emotions. Sometimes before I go to bed at night I just pause to soak up how incredible it feels to not have someone disturbing my peace 24/7. I really enjoy my company and I love how happy I feel with myself and in my life. Such a dramatic 180 from being in that unhealthy relationship. It’s the one big benefit I got out of the relationship: learning to prioritize and enjoy my peace of mind

  17. SEX! I discovered I actually really enjoy sex when it’s with someone who cares about if I’m having a good time or not.

    I also discovered that I really enjoy life without him. He always told me I’d never survive or I was stupid and needed him. Turns out I don’t need him and am actually pretty smart.

  19. I could actually relax and breath, I noticed that was in a constant state of stress. Note my abuser was my dad not a lover.

  20. Listening to music. I could never listen to my own music with him and I didn’t even know what kind of music I liked listening to when I left 3 years later.

  21. wearing whatever my heart desires. my ex gf made several remarks about outfits i chose if they were even slightly revealing, and also made remarks when i wore comfy clothing to my classes. it’s chemistry and literary analysis what on earth am i meant to wear???? a formal dress?

  22. Not being stoned all the time

    But Also; living on my own, working in healthcare and reading books 🙂

  24. Being alone, sex, going to bed at a reasonable hour, getting up early (when I don’t self sabotage!), prioritising myself and my home-life over work, long conversations about friends’ niche interests, being a flawed human, comedy, coffee shop hangouts, long ass baths, not having to defend my platonic friendships, not having to hold up someone else’s life for them, cooking, pub trips… The list goes on and on, and I’m truly happy to say that.

  25. OMG I started having really good photos of myself when I left that toxic manipulative relationship 😁

  26. The freedom to laugh at a joke in mixed company without getting beat up at home for “flirting”

  27. I actually like getting my car serviced again. The reason why is that my ex was always trying to get things for free. So going in for a service with or without him resulted in trying to get something out of it. Without him he’d call me and make sure I’d ask, but I would lie or just not answer his calls or texts. Then he’d keep pressing me about the situation when I got home. It was so mentally exhausting and draining I hated anything that had to do with my car. Now I don’t have to worry and will service my car in peace.

  31. Being feminine. I love my skincare routine, I love putting on makeup, I love dressing up and looking cute. My ex thought all that was a waste of time, now I realize that *he* was a waste of time

  32. Having male friends. My ex forbade me. Now I have a great partner and we share our friends. Its so nice when you develop close relationships and nobody is off limits.

  33. I realized you can spend time together and still have your personal needs met. My toxic relationship was all-consuming and it felt like I never had a minute to myself. Now that I’m in a healthy relationship, we can spend sooooo much time together but I never feel suffocated. My boyfriend and I can do our own things in the same room and I don’t feel like I need to give him 100% attention all the time.

  35. Not having sex all the time. I like only having sex when I want, rather than as a way to appease him, and earn his affection

  36. Sex, it was always a chore, always done to shut him up, I love being intimate with my current partner because I know there won’t be consequences for anything afterwards.

  37. Enjoying a night of drinking without it ending in an argument, getting kicked out of a bar, watching my partner start fights over nothing, a trip to the ER, or a bed covered in pee.

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