I (23 m) have been dating my girlfriend (22 f) for about 9 months and everything is going really well. We both love each other and are considering moving in together once she has graduated from College. Our sex life is very active and we are great at communicating our likes and dislikes. However, somewhat recently my girlfriend has told me that it really has bothered her how I have never came when she is the one on top. When we have sex she usually likes to start on top and finish in doggie or missionary. Sometimes though she wants to be more dominant and be on top the whole time but we end up having to switch positions so I can finish. She has told me it does make her feel like she is doing something wrong that I have to be the one doing the work to make me finish and that she can not do it on her own. I think this has affected her confidence a bit and it does make me sad that she does feel this way because I love her very much and hate to see her feel inadequate in bed especially when I feel that she is the best sexual partner I have ever had.
4 comments
I have had that problem in the past because the pace isn’t what I need to finish, the rhythm had to be just right in order for me to come when she’s on top, but with communication and working through it with her, you should be able to come to a solution that works best for her, just have to try different things out I.E. pace, different angles, how hard she rides you, etc
I find the brain is the biggest sex organ. Are there things she can do that always put you over the top/drive you crazy? If so, can they be incorporated while she’s on top?
Another thing that can work well is if she dirty talks about how she wants you to cum in her. Just expressing that out loud often makes the male brain want to cum
She’s making a mountain of a mole hill. I HATE girl on top, and have flat out gone soft inside multiple women in that position. Lmao talk about ego killer for them! I don’t even bother with that position anymore, not worth the bullshit that ensues.
Do you and your girlfriend are both young, and she would do well to learn that orgasms are not the end all be all of sex. You can have really fantastic sex that is very enjoyable and no one orgasms. Enjoying the experience and the intimacy without being fixated on the goal of finishing will enhance your future sex life for both of you.