When we met I was 25 and she told me she was 21. I didn’t question it because I’ve never had a reason to think she was lying. I don’t drink or anything, so her not doing any of those things was never a red flag. She recently came clean and just brushed it off like it’s funny but she been lying to me for 2 years. What should I do?
She was 19 when we started dating. NOT underage!
43 comments
Break up with her
How old was she
What?? How old is she?
White lie bro, let it go, it’s not cheating
The problem is the lying, imagine if she had been younger she could have ended up ruining your life. By accident or otherwise if she can lie to you about her age. Who knows what else she’s comfortable with lying about. That’s a very big lie. I think breaking up and if you don’t want to that counseling is needed for sure. To understand why she lied and show her how much she messed up. Don’t let this just slide because then what’s next.
I was 25 when I met a guy who was 28. He was actually 32. He lied about his age because he believed that younger women would be attracted to him. Red flag waving in my face.
My first bf lied to due to be insecure about being older at school. He was actually 25 not 22 when we met. I was 19.
When people lie like that. I learned I should have left. What else will they lie about?
Maybe she really liked you but thought her age would make you lose interest? I would find out why she lied before you make a decision
Out of curiosity, what did she do during birthdays?? Did her entire family play along? 😂
I would dump her. How can you rebuild your trust after she lied for 2 years. And she doesn’t even think it’s a big deal, cause she brushed it off. Its just shows her immaturity I think. I would break up with someone if they did that to me
If she lies about one thing what else does she lie about ?
Was she using a fake id to drink?? Maybe she was nervous you wouldn’t be cool with that, but even with that reasoning it’s not okay to lie about your age, ESPECIALLY after two years, it’s very weird and I would tell her that and idk how your relationship is going otherwise, but if it’s not awesome that would be the final straw for me
In my opinion the bigger issue here is that she isn’t seeming to take the lying seriously as you said she laughed it off. The lie itself would otherwise be forgivable in my opinion – she was 18 and we all do stupid things at 18, and it’s possible she was lying because she liked you and thought you wouldn’t go for a girl as young as her. Did she explain any of her reasons for lying?
I think you should have a conversation with her expressing how much this bothers you and how you feel betrayed. If she doesn’t properly apologise and take your feelings seriously and doesn’t see it a big deal, I would understand wanting to break the relationship off. If she does, then I think it’s salvageable if you want it to be. Good luck.
What did she do on birthdays? No number candles or balloons? This is so weird lol
I never understood how some people can begin relationships with a lie (like they don’t have kids or an age difference). To me it shows a complete disregard for people’s feelings and time.
It proves that she probably had no intention of having a long term thing with you, otherwise shed never have to come clean, but then she was wrong.
I wouldn’t be able to trust her again.
What’s with all these “I’m dating a 18-19 year” old posts here in last couple days? Feels a little trollesque
Okay just from my experience, that was the first thing they lied about followed by a string of lies…. So I’d just be leery if you continue the relationship
No. Not at all. She lies about this how can you know what else is a lie? No trust = dead relationship.
I mean.. what else is she lying about?
This will be on your mind for as long as you’re with her. If you thought about breaking up, you should. That is a very serious thing. Imagine if she was underaged when you two met. You could’ve gone to jail bruh.
Dude, this is a non-issue. Girls that young lie about their age all the time, they’re immature. Now if it was the other way around – say a 22y/o saying she’s 18, that would be a definite red flag. This is a massive win in my book, because I bet she’s insecure and inexperienced, which means you can grow together a lot if you’re serious about her.
That’s predatory behavior.
I’m sorry, what 🫠
How old is she ….
Can you edit to include how old she really is? She said she was 21, but was she lying and she was really 20 or was she really 17 etc makes a big difference lol
I wouldn’t trust her, dude. If she lied about that God knows what else she’s lying about.
If you find out in 2 more years she was lying about a whole bunch of other stuff. You are going to feel like the dumbest mutha fucka on earth for not dumping here. Do you want to feel like that?
I’d dip because that’s completely fucked.
And how did you not know for two whole years? We’re you not paying attention?
Break it off. It will turn toxic soon. People who lie about the simplest facts about themselves aren’t trustworthy. I was 15 when I dated a guy who said he was 18. It was consensual, until I found out later that he’s actually 21 years old. He manipulated me to stay in the relationship for almost 6 years and it was a very toxic one, I can’t believe I wasted my youth with that person.
Sounds fake. You never went anywhere that was 21 and over in two years of dating? I don’t buy it.
Huge red flag. Absolutely not. The fact she thinks it’s funny is another flag. What would have happened if she had been underage. She put you at risk for legal ramifications and she thinks the whole thing is funny. Nah. Doesn’t pass the vibe check
Tell her that this lie has shaken your trust in her, and see what her response is then proceed accordingly. Its ultimately up to you if you can move past this. If it was me and she seems truly remorseful I’d probably give her a chance but then again I’m a glutton for punishment.
Has she lied about anything else? Would you have dated her knowing her real age? Maybe because everything seems so taboo nowadays she was afraid you wouldn’t accept her. If she’s just a liar, it’ll come out sooner or later.
If you’re happy with her, breaking up would be a terrible mistake don’t listen to all these people who act like they’ve done no wrong ever.
Bruh thats smth huge
It’s a six year age difference? Imo, there’s not an issue with the gap. More of an issue that she laughed off lyin to you, but, again, that’s just my opinion.
I’d break up with her post haste. This is NOT ok for anyone to do. Lying is a form of manipulation. She literally manipulated you into being with her.
That’s a big lie to keep up over two years. Two weeks and coming clean, okay, but two years? And how did you find out?
Oops. You said she came clean – but how did that come about?
Find out everything factual verifyable. Plain old trust is bs encompassing term. You can trust they breathe eat sleep. People generally have default behaviors. The only question you should have is questions of character.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It would be very devastating to know you’ve been lied to. I hope things work out in your favor. The decision whether to break up with her or not will be a very painful process but you don’t want to be lied to every now and then right?
Not a big deal
i assume you had to ask her out
Im not sure why she would lie if she really wasnt underage. But i would check to make sure she isnt still lying. Would be a deal breaker for me
I’m gonna be honest, I would definitely have the same thoughts of not seeing her the same. Like, you are 27, and she is just now 21? That’s definitely a bigger gap than her being 23, nearly 24 (I presume she would have been).
If this was her finally “coming clean” of her making a reckless decision when she was 18, that’s so immature, and she has a lot of growing to do. The fact she’s now dismissing your feelings and downplaying how much of a boundary she just ripped through is almost laughable.
I, personally, could not be with someone who did that and chooses not to do anything and everything they can to make up for literally lying to you for 2 YEARS! I’m 22, and that sounds like so much time to just keep lying!
I’m astonished, honestly. I’d even be second guessing if she were telling the truth about THAT! She could’ve been younger! I’d be asking myself if this were one of those “tests” to see if you’d stay with a person if [this] were the case.
I definitely advice you to take a break for a while, relax and let your mind calm down before making a decision: to stay or leave. Either way, I hope you don’t live with any regrets. 🙁