what makes men fall out of love ?

49 comments

  2. I have when I realized I was putting ALL the effort into the relationship and she was just coasting along.

  5. Growing up, taking on additional responsibilities, and becoming an adult…. while your significant other still acts like she’s 16.

    That was it for me, anyway.

  6. Listen, I hate to break it to you, but what people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on science.

  9. She gets fat/ugly from not taking care of herself (not from normal aging).

    She makes terrible financial decisions.

    She gets mean/plays mind games to the point where it’s not worth the trouble.

  11. Controlling behavior, toxicity, finding excuses to not do things/meet people that makes him happy, always complaining about his family members.. list is way too big to mention

  12. Love is an emotion. Like all other emotions, we can’t control it and it comes and goes. But when one truly loves someone, they will act lovingly towards that person regardless of if the emotion is present. You fall out of love when that drive and discipline goes away.

  13. Same as women.

    They let themselves go physically and intellectually.

    Needs not getting met is another one.

    Feeling like you’re constantly the one trying to carry the relationship is another.

    A quote that sticks out for me is:

    When a man doesn’t feel appreciated in the area of his presence, he becomes a version of a man that he can give you and survive.

    In some ways I’m still trying to understand exactly what is meant there. But I think I have a pretty good idea.

  15. Manipulation, complaining about everything and everyone, initiating dangerous situations with strangers and then expecting us to take care of it.

  18. when they stop being fun to be around, better to walk away then walk on egg shells constantly.

  19. Stagnation. When things just become dull and repetitive with no want to grow or keep things interesting.

  26. When a relationship feels one sided it’s hard to feel the same way about a person. What ideally should be a give and take ends up being a give and give which the most selfless person can only handle for so long.

  30. It is said that women marry wanting the man to change, and he doesn’t. Men marry wanting the woman to stay the same, and she changes.

    In a marriage or long relationship, when she changes he’s likely not to love the change.

  31. Constant complaining. Doesn’t need to be toward myself or about what I’m doing wrong.

    It’s just exhausting to hear the same complaints over and over at length, especially about things that are beyond anyone’s control to fix.

  32. The build up of resentment caused by unresolved arguments and hurt feelings, slow realization that two of you are not very compatible or the she is not a great person after all (whatever that means to you), lack of reciprocity, gratitude, physical attraction or intimacy, many things come into play…

  34. Being a very stubborn person. It can be viewed as strong willed or whatever, but it sucks to be disregarded without even given a chance to explain your point of view or how to feel about things.

  35. What makes ppl fall out of love is disengagement from what you both care about. What you both found fascinating in one another at some time. Familiarity, boredom, distance of the soul n spirit.

  38. Disrespect and disloyalty. Keeping secrets that effect the relationship. Emotional and physical abuse. That last one is obvious but I speak from experience.

  46. I fell out of love with my ex-wife when I became the enemy in my own house. Whatever problem we were facing became my fault. I learned first hand the truth of a woman only loves a man for what he can provide.

  47. The modern woman. Let me explain…

    2 things matter to me in a partner… LOYALTY AND ACCOUNTABILITY. These are 2 of the several components for a man to feel emotional safety in his partner and relationship.

    It sounds bad but we don’t care about what what you make or how equal things are. We live in a cause and effect reality. Women don’t focus on hierarchy like men do. We chase bags to get you because you all care about money. If we could live in a box and you didn’t care then that’d be fine, but you do so we don’t.

    1. As crazy as it sounds it’s true. Loyalty is not conditional. It’s not for when you’re in a good place. Being loyal when things are good is easy. When the chips are down and having a partner really matters, women leave. Relationships aren’t easy and if you can handle being loyal maybe you should just stop having them. To clarify, I am referring to sex as well as sticking with your partner in rough times.

    2. In an argument, do you ever admit blame without being cornered? If you’re proven wrong about something, do you concede and admit your error? Are you capable of disagreeing without calling a man’s manhood in question? When you retell a story about a disagreement do you include the things you did wrong that led up to an argument or made it worse? Do you genuinely apologize? These things matter. You want men to be accountable but refuse it when it doesn’t benefit you. You want men to beg for forgiveness but you don’t apologize. Does he give “excuses” and you have “reasons”? There isn’t a talk about what you need to fix but there are several about what he needs to fix? Accountability.

    We’re not dumb. We are way more tolerant when we love. Read that again. When we’re beat enough, we leave. In the right environment, a man would bend the world for you. In the wrong one, he’ll give you the same treatment and respect you gave him at your worst moment. If we don’t feel emotional safety from you, how do you expect men to remain engaged and offer you the same?

  48. Incompetence at household tasks

    Not ever putting effort into her appearance

    Valuing her ego more than solving her multiple health problems

    Ignoring my sexual needs

    Ignoring my physical needs

    Listening to me explain myself what I want over and over again and then “forgetting” or, saying what I want “is impossible.” (Cue, I want her to talk sexy to me in the bedroom and not be silent the whole time. Not a flashlight up her butt or something freaky.)

    Doing things that make her health problems worse, because of ego

    Telling me I have problem X, therefore she will never ever try Y again. Like, so I can improve and get better, but nothing changes.

    Unwillingness to change.

    Unwilling to get off her phone and do some basic work around the house

    Constantly reminding me about shit I need to do, **while I’m actually doing that exact job**

  49. For me it’s when my emotional needs aren’t being met.

    You can put forth a lot of effort, and the sex be great, but when your emotions are never really considered. It’s gonna pave the way for other problems. I mean I’m not a fucking robot, and a lot of girls expect this eternal stoic figure.

    Just because your daddy was a workaholic doesn’t mean I’m gonna be a human credit card.

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