Men of reddit, what made you fall out of love?

49 comments

  1. I was dating a girl who was insanely hot. I was in love to the point where if i was around her i started breathing differently. Couldn’t think of anything other than her.

    Fell out of love when i realized she didn’t have a personality.

  2. She had an anger problem. Kept me up to 5am every night yelling at me. If she didn’t, we might still be together now.

  4. Situatuonships and people living their life like a blind folded baboon roaming wherever life takes them.

  5. After our breakup mutual friends said I was not caring enough during her misscariage short before breakup. I never knew she was pregnant, but at that time it had been more than 2 years without sex. So that was the wakeup call to snap out of it and I started to be a bit more happy it ended.

  6. When she stopped showing it.
    I’m not in a relationship just to *give* love – I need to *receive* some too.

  7. Fell out of love when I realised that over 25 years she had threatened to divorce me many hundreds of times, and that I had, not once, done the same. It was her power game to win any disagreement. Eventually taught me not to care.

  8. Different interests, would bend to do hers but was not reciprocated. Had only one plain of emotion – a flat liner. Wouldn’t express her emotions. My partner I have now we have had some right good ding dongs but have grown from it, rather have it this way any day.

  9. Discovered my ex had lied about everything since before we met – about all sorts of things, like qualifications, driver’s licence, her life, work, etc. etc.

  10. I found out I was too vanilla.

    I feel like I am a normal guy with pretty average tastes, sex once every day or two? Sure! Maybe get a little rough occasionally? Sure thing! But with her it was **CONSTANT**. When we were together she would initiate sex three to five plus times a day. And it was about as rough as they came, she wanted me to choke her, she would bite me and I would smack her ass and bite her until she bled.
    If I wasn’t going at jack hammer levels of thrusting she would complain. When we weren’t having sex she was biting me and grabbing my junk in public.

    Honestly it was just a bit much and I only stayed in the relationship for as long as I did because I genuinely loved and cared for her. We would talk for hours, go on amazing trips and have a lot of fun together in non sexual ways. But when she would bite me HARD at an art gallery or start trying to turn me on at 3AM after we had sex twice already that evening and I would just find myself mentally groaning.

    I’m glad that relationship is done but Christ do I still miss her as a person.

  12. Eight months into our marriage my bride told me that she had made a mistake marrying me, married too young, should have gotten her college degree before getting married, I had robbed her of her “college experience”, and that she should have married someone more spiritual (religious). All this from the gal who I dated for 2.5 years and who asked ME to marry HER.

  13. She kept cheating on me.

    I found out the first time, discovered it was with my best friend, and she had been seeing multiple guys the entire time. Love makes you do stupid things, so we sat down, had a very long discussion, and we decided I would take her back on the premise that she ended her “activities”. She seemed devastated enough and genuinely remorseful, so I agreed. It really seemed like she needed me for emotional support more than I could realize.

    Turns out that wasn’t true when I had to go away for two weeks, and return to find her with another guy again. Most of my heartaches last many years. That one was over real quick, no lingering feelings whatsoever

  16. Verbal and emotional abuse, her severe insecurities, her lack of financial responsibility (or any responsibility for that matter), and gaslighting.

  17. Cheating, manipulating, threatening to slit her wrists over an ex while having a panic attack (seriously, I had to hide knives from her and nearly cut my hand trying to take one away from her). Also learned she muted me on all socials so I wouldn’t “distract” her from work or hanging out with friends and other dudes. Finally snapped out of it almost half a year later after our breakup, when I finally learned her real body count. Girl preached “I don’t like sex” after having 15+ men inside her at 22, and more than 20 in her mouth. And she told me I was her sixth, so constant lying or trickle truthing was a factor, too. Some people are just not worth all the heartache and effort, wish I realized that sooner.

  18. Having completely different taste in anything that you find fun. Music, movies, games, trips, food.
    Cheating also, but it has been said already a lot.

  19. Hiding things, making no time for me for months, setting new goals that are opposite of mine. On top of prior bad things.

  20. **her and her mum screaming match**

    came home from a night out 3-4am, she wanted to wash her hair quickly as stunk of smoke

    shower was only on 1 min probably less, mum popped out and just SCREAMING that its too early for that

    GF then SCREAMS (like full on xbox live lobby screeching) that her hair was smokey and she HAS! to wash it FUCKING NOWWWW!..

    I was just stood on landing between the two…. what the fuck is going on

    but that wasn’t it, it then went on… at 3-4am for 10 mins, just FULL volume screeching at each other

    I cant live next to someone like this, let alone WITH someone like this

    just instantly she went from “clever, gorgeous, red haired, *vampire* badass” to “horrible, ginger, psycho screamer”

    I made sure to break up somewhere VERY public

  21. Finally opened up to her about emotional stuff then see that information be weaponised against me during an argument.

    Many friends share this same experience. Just kills trust and the relationship is so badly wounded it will never recover. It’s a matter of time at this point…

  22. It was her balance problem.

    She kept falling down and landing vag first on other guy’s dicks.

  23. Wife, while sick in bed, told me to share a story with her. I told her what a “romantic day” would look like for her. Sunrise to sunset, all the romantic things I would do for her. After I shared my plan, I curiously asked, what my “romantic day” would look like? Her response, after a deer in a headlight look, “I would get you a beer”.

    5 years together. And my wife has no clue about me. And yes, I’ve been vocal about my preferences. She just refuses to listen.

  24. Cheated on me with my childhood ex-bestfriend the day after she told me she loved me. Also found out she had a train ran on her multiple times while we were together. After finding out all of this she tried using “I did all this before I knew how much I loved you and how much you mean to me.” Waterworks Argument.

    Safe to say I don’t believe in that word.

  25. it was a lot of little things. demanding of my time in ways I didn’t want. demanding things in the bedroom, or demanding that we do bedroom things despite how I felt. strange habit of dancing in public that made me uncomfortable.

    and then she farted on me.

  28. One day she just got distant, and I didn’t understand why. We were doing long distance and the extra time not talking kept going to my head wondering if I had done something wrong. Finally she told me she didn’t know if she wanted to be in a relationship anymore and she didn’t know if she believed in long-term relationships and that stung but we talked it through. She didn’t like that I smoked weed after work and it was something that gave her anxiety because of her ex (understandable but don’t wait a year and 4 months in to tell me that when I asked you early on about it) the next couple of months just felt like she was slowly trying less to make it work but still telling me she wanted to be with me. Then her grandpa died and she just got cold and then these feelings of needing space came back to her and I was back to square one with feeling like I was lonely inside a relationship. She kept saying she wanted me and wanted to continue the relationship but whenever she got upset or mad she would distance herself to a point where I was only talking to her maybe a few minutes a day on the phone or texted me maybe once throughout the entire day. I don’t mind having your own schedule and plans but it just kept feeling like I was planning my future with her in my plan and she was just planning hers without me in mind. I was tired of feeling like an option so I initiated the break up and then she mutually agreed that it was for “the best” still hurts but it’s getting better I guess.

  30. Her mom was always borrowing money from us. It started literally one month after we got married. We were young and didn’t make much money, and it started with she can’t pay her rent, then it was new tires, she needed first and last months rent on a new place..went to see the new place and it was nicer than ours.

  31. I moved out of my home state and comfort zone for a women who said she loved me and wanted a life with me but wanted to move back home to be closer to family but didn’t want to be without me. Turns out I was a safety net out of fear of her being alone through travel once she settled in and got comfortable she was telling people I wasn’t anything serious and we weren’t in a relationship. Then I got stuck paying for an apartment I could barely afford in a place I had zero support. She refused to pay half even though she moved in with her family and paid zero bills. Yet “women” do no wrong 🤷🏻‍♂️

  32. When kobe died I was upset. I’m a girl dad. It just hit me hard because of his daughter dying with him. I came home from work the next day and told my wife I wanted to talk about things. Her first response, well Saturday night you did blah blah blah and you need to apologize. I don’t discuss my feelings. I’m a typical man. The one time in 18 years I try to open up she crushed me. That was the end for me. I knew that day. I had to get out.

  33. Cheating

    Falling out of love is very real and incredibility freeing. I remember struggling with my emotions as my ex was cheating. Then one day , like magic, I didn’t care anymore. I was able to file for divorce and move on – no problem

  34. First I had to discover what love truly was. Took a long time. Since the discovery, I’ve not found it

  35. I had a girlfriend once that made me her entire reason for existence. We met in college and she had tons of interests, hobbies, friends, and goals. After a few years, most of those faded away and all she cared about was being with me and growing our relationship. She stopped seeing friends, gave up the things she liked and just wanted to spend every minute of every day with me.

    It was suffocating and it put so much tension on my relationships with friends, coworkers, and even my family. And honestly, she stopped being attractive to me without any goals or interests of her own. It felt like I was taking care of her instead of growing with her.

  36. Not fallen out of love yet, but I worry I will if it continues: childish dependence. She grew up with a father that was, quite frankly, overly involved and dangerously liberal (I don’t mean politically) about letting her do whatever she wanted and believing everything she said. He always has done everything for her, and this has made her very shy and quite clueless about the real world. She is horrified of making new friends/meeting new people, relies heavily on the “my daddy could do it/do it like this/ do it better” trope, and frequently asks me what to say/do in situations that require any sort of social maturity. She wants to get married, and I do love her a lot and care for her very deeply. She is a kind and caring person that really does look out for me and my two dogs as well as my friends that she has actually interacted with, but I REALLY struggle to see a future with her if I essentially will have to single-handedly guide us through adulthood when I still have some growth of my own to go through. Every time I have to type out an email so that it “sounds smart” to a graduate professor or a potential employer, a little part of me falls a bit further away from her because it could potentially be very indicative of a larger problem. Input on this encouraged and appreciated 🙂

  38. Realizing she didn’t really care about me the way I did about her. Feeling lied to about most things.

  40. It started when I took a job closer to her mommy to make her happy. She thanked me by being wasted everyday when I got home from working 16 hour shifts and berated me as I cooked myself and our daughter dinner. It got worse when she passed out with the lights on and couldn’t get up to give my daughter a hug and kiss before bed even though my daughter was screaming at her to “please mommy wake up!” It became official when I had to become the dedicated driver for my own birthday after she drank too much and called our 4 year old daughter an asshole at a hibachi table to the horror of everyone in the restaurant except her.

  41. Cheating, obviously. But it was when I realised she was fundamentally a cruel, frankly evil person. Who would intentionally lower other people’s mood just so they were on the same level as she was.

  42. From the beginning she always commented on how she never expected to be exclusive during college. Just little passive comments about “I never thought I’d be with one guy in college”. We broke up after she admitted to having set up a date with another guy just a few weeks away from our second anniversary. After we broke up, she slept with a friend and went out with my ex-roommate who was there for me during the breakup so that was fun. But I saw it coming.

    When they were having issues about exclusivity, she felt the need to ask me about it because apparently I would understand my ex-roommate’s feelings in their relationship since I was the “more monogamous” one between her and me

  43. My love language was physical touch before,
    Then I joined reddit, made me laugh until death,
    I don’t crave physical touch anymore instead I try finding people who make me laugh
    If I’m going in relationship, girl gotta be humorous.

  44. Time.

    Been together 12 years and in that time we both became different people. There was no big fight or event that happened. One day we realized we have grown apart from each other and we had become like 2 roommates who have kids and on the weekends we have sex.

    We are giving it one last go to see how things go but it if doesn’t work out I don’t think we will have any anger towards each other

  46. A major betrayal of trust, specifically cheating.

    It was like a switch was flipped.

  47. Being cheated on. Honestly turned into a pretty emotionless person ever since.

  48. It started to be all about her and i was becoming a slave, so i said no thanks and left her.

  49. She put me down a lot. I didn’t realize until I was with somebody else. She would make comments about her being able to get other men or that it would be better to be alone than in a relationship that had no future.

    Now I’m with someone who makes me feel good about myself and never puts me down.

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