I’m 15 and really struggle with talking to people no matter how hard I try. Whenever I’m with new people I try my best just to hold a conversation for longer than a couple sentences, but at a certain point I can tell that the other person is getting bored or I run out of things to talk about. I know the most obvious thing would be is to just keep trying but that really isn’t working for me. Any possible ideas that might help even a little bit would be great. Thanks.
4 comments
Maybe keep a list of things to say incase a conversation gets dry. Like, stuff that can propel conversations. Ask how they’re doing. Ask what they had for breafast. Ask what they’re planning to do. Ask questions and only then will you have content to work with. So, if the conversation goes dry, ask away. Don’t fire questions, more like ask a question, get an answer, then state an opinion or let’s say, a story you’ve had that resembles it. or if they don’t seem interested in answering, tell a story of yours. “You know, the other day I saw this-” or “Have you heard about?” If you really have no ideas, talk about modern day problems. Stuff like school or climate crisis maybe even something you read online in an article, or if you trust yourself enough, economy(wouldn’t suggest this though). Hope this helps, and if you have other doubts, feel free to dm! Source : former introvert.
Once you finish the initial topic you can fall back onto the F.O.R.D system (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams. keep away from ideology (religion and politics) or money) then respond to their answers with non-confrontational follow up questions as this shows you are a receptive, interested listener which makes people feel at ease and open up more.
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A neat trick to keep any conversation going is to inquire about the other. Ask about their interests, hobbies, work, looks, etceteras etc. If you’re the only one talking about any subject the conversation might get bored for the other if they seem to lost the interest in it, so try and make them start talking about something that maybe caught your eye or they seem to want to talk about.
Then, to learn to talk, just try to copy and/or keep the match of the conversation with anyone. Most people don’t think too much before talking, rather they think while talking, so that’s something you could try to learn.