My (28F) partner (26M) isn’t considering my feelings when interacting with a female friend.

TL;DR: my partner is not being transparent about his communications and involvement with a female friend.

We’ve been together for about a year and a half. About one year ago, he admitted to having feelings for his best friend for a brief period of time in 2020 but assured me that those feelings had 100% dissipated. They were roommates for several years before he moved in with me this summer. I get the feeling that she had or still has a lot of control drama over him. always mad at him for not being attentive enough, telling him not to invite me on a group trip. I let him know that that information made me feel made me feel jealous and emotionally vulnerable . I’ve told him that I’m uncomfortable with him spending time with her one on one or even in a group setting when I’m not there. I also asked that he be more transparent about how often they’re really communicating or seeing each other.

The other night I came home from a volunteer event, and he told me that they had met up at a cafe that evening spur of the moment. This made me pretty upset, because there was no prior notice or consideration of how this might make me feel. It’s also a setting that I explicitly said makes me very uncomfortable. he also wasn’t transparent about it. I know they stay in regular communication, but he never talks to me about it. He’s also never tried to arrange a time for us three to talk, or hang out. I only ever small talk with her in group settings. I sense he’s scared to bring her up in conversation.

He feels he’s never lied to me but I consider lies of omission, lying. I feel like I’m not being heard, and I don’t know what to say or do. I would never ask him to cut her out altogether but at the same time I need to set boundaries for my own sake. all else aside, this is an incredible relationship with high compatibility, and really open communication.