Hi! I was in love with one of my closest friends. Unfortunately only I felt romantic love, so I was broken, more so when they did actively date someone else. I’ve gotten some space to heal and I finally seem to be better, still need some more time, I’ve only had the space for two weeks.
In these two weeks I’ve tried to understand stuff, to know myself better, to understand them better. I’ve been through some stages of wanting to talk because ultimately I’ve loved this person romantically, to wanting them out of my life completely, to genuinely missing them as a friend. And about myself, I’m more and more living my life normally and not thinking about this situation so much (even if writing this post may say the opposite. I was really really really overthinking about all this for months)
My question is, can you still be friends with someone you loved romantically? Right now I’m aware that it is not gonna work, but I’m wondering if it is actually possible for the future, or it would be just a “lie”.
I’m only asking because we’ve been really close as friends for a while, and it would be nice to get that back.
7 comments
What makes you think it’s a possibility for the future and what are you talking about when you say “lie” what is the lie? Did they tell you maybe in the future they’d be interested?
This counts only for me personally:
No it wont Work, even tho in the beginning everything would be OK, at some Point He/she will do/say Something that will Trigger this Feeling again, so Like you Said you lie to yourself.
It is possible for some people. I’m friends with some women I’ve had crushes with. Also with a few we fucked and one ex relationship. But that’s possible because I don’t care and there have been cases where I was unable to stop caring and that friendship went to shit.
It’s a case-by-case thing.
Yes you can if you are over them now and they are not interested either.
Why did you love this person? If you want to be friends with this person, you’re going to need to find a way to turn the reasons you loved this person into reasons you appreciate them as a friend. I don’t know how you can be friends with this person without doing that.
No it always ends bad. Someone always gets attached again, especially if you have sex
I think while you’re still in love with them in a romantic sense it is difficult going to be difficult to be friends